


At Long Last

by Kattythingz



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Angst, Canon Gay Relationship, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Divorced parents, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, I LOVE ONODERA RITSU, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Romance, These Dorks are Adorable, These boys are in love, actually i do, because I said so, cuz i said so, i don't make the rules, lots of fluff, ritsu can play the piano, ritsu's parents are assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattythingz/pseuds/Kattythingz
Summary: A series of one-shots based on the head-canon that Ritsu's dad is an abusive asshole and his mom in the manga/anime is actually his step-mom. Takano x Ritsu. Fluff, angst, abuse, and more fluff. Rated T because I'm paranoid, and abuse isn't a topic for just anyone (also due to some cursing, though I will keep it to a minimum).





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> HEYYO! I am a very lazy author, just getting this out, so updates will be extremely slow! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this idea that I have been dying to write into a series of interconnected one-shots! Some won’t be connected to some one-shots, but the main point is the same in all of them, based on the same general idea. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE. IF I DID, RITSU WOULD HAVE CONFESSED BY NOW (Stubborn little asshole, why must you torture us so?).
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE.

Onodera Ritsu was many things: rich, proud, shy, friendly, and even sometimes, happy; that, however, didn’t mean Ritsu particularly loved neither his current life nor his past high-school self. Because, above all, Ritsu was lonely and hurt; it was always this way. Somewhere in his 27-year-old self’s grown-up brain, he knows his past fears still lurk in them.

The fear of being back in that house, with that monster and his partner, ate away his past self, and sometimes nowadays too; them being his father and step-mother.

His mother used to be his everything, his light within the darkness of the Onodera manor. He remembers many happy moments with her, up until he was 10.

* * *

_“_ _Father, I’m sorry! I was just really tired! I swear I’ll go back to studying just-,” Ritsu, no older than 6, stuttered out as he noticed the dangerous gleam in his father’s eyes. He hated how familiar it was to him at this point, but he was glad, for once, that his mother had to go visit her parents because this is usually when his mother would ask to take the beating instead._

_“Do not speak to me that way, you insolent child!” His father’s angry voice shouted. “You are an Onodera! You do not have the luxury to just laze around while you have all those lessons to study!”_

_“_ _I_ _-I said I was sor-”_

_"Ritsu, you are to keep studying English, and you are not allowed to leave your room if only to eat dinner, but that’s it!”_

_Ritsu couldn’t even argue about that arrangement, because as soon as his father stopped talking, he’d ordered a maid, Alice, to take Ritsu up to his room. Ritsu kept his eyes on the floor as he let Alice coax him out of the room._

_As soon as they were out of his father’s sights, Alice pulled Ritsu into a hug. “I’m so sorry Ritsu, we can’t even protect you from him. I’m so sorry!”_

_Ritsu could only cry, again, as he sobbed into Alice’s chest. All the maids in this household doted on him, as they all knew how their master got with his only son, even more so when his wife happens to be out the house._

_He hated this. He hated his name. He hated the burden his name carried._

_He cried until he slept, safe in Alice’s arms._

* * *

When Ritsu was 15, he was anything but happy, but he knew of he showed himself to the others, they would all hate him even more than they already do. “You’re a rich kid with all the luxuries in the world. You have nothing to cry about!” They would tell him, back in middle school.

And so, at age 10, Onodera Ritsu donned a mask. He never took it off, and always acted like the peppy, shy, and excited rich kid he’s supposed to be. Until he met Saga-senpai, that is.

He was finally happy. For once, ever since his mother’s death, he was happy, so why was he crying over their break-up, over Saga-senpai laughing at him, mocking his naiveté? Why was something ruined in his life again?

He managed to survive for the next 10 years, making sure his mask fell to no one (except Nao). He was finally away from his father’s clutches, his abuse, as soon as he moved out of his house, away from his father and step-mother. He never liked her. She was pushy and only cared about the family name, just like his father. Maybe that’s why he married her, to pressure him even more, Ritsu wryly thought.

He missed his mother.

* * *

Now, he was 26. He had a job, he was making a name for himself, and he was…actually happy around Takano. Not that he would ever say that to Takano. His ego was big enough as it was, Ritsu huffed. Still, it was nice to be in love again (there, he said it!).

How could he tell Takano of his past, his mask, when he so easily told Ritsu of his own misery? Ritsu felt like a total douche.

He would, someday. For now, he was happy simply dropping hints to the man, little things and details. He knew Takano appreciated them, and he felt that warmth fill his chest again.

He was happy.


	2. That Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO! WOOOOO!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: BRIEF ABUSE SCENE (IN ITALICS).

Onodera Ritsu hated his job, especially his obnoxious egotistic prick of a boss, Takano Masamune. Ritsu was finally free, he had finished his manuscripts and did all that was necessary, but then that asshole _had_ to assign Ritsu stuff from his own authors. _Seriously_?

Ritsu sighed as he went over the manuscript for the third time, not willing to be embarrassed in front of his co-workers for the third (fourth?) time as Takano scolds him for “being lazy”. That phrase stung, he had to admit, but it wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t perfect like Mr. I’m-so-freaking-perfect.

Still, Ritsu knew Takano did this to help him, to improve. Takano loved him, so he was doing this for him. And, while this was a mean way of showing care, Ritsu blushed, he still appreciated it. He wouldn’t admit that he liked all the care Takano showed him.

When the day was finally over, Ritsu internally celebrated. As he was packing his stuff away, he heard his boss’s voice yell out, “Oi, Onodera!”

He hated that name. He hated it so much.

Ritsu had his back to him, so he was glad when Takano didn’t notice his expression of discomfort. Ritsu grumbled, not stopping what he was doing, “Wat?”

“Join me for dinner tonight,” He stated bossily. Ritsu contemplated outright refusing the offer (order, more like), but he was tired, Ritsu wanted to have a good time, and spoiling himself through Takano’s love didn’t seem like such a bad idea. (That’s the only reason why, he pettily affirmed).

When Takano received no answer, he opened his mouth to state that it was an order, but was surprised when his first love spoke up from his position, “Just don’t try anything, you asshole.”

Now, Takano was a pretty composed man that could stay calm through many situations, but he couldn’t control the overjoyed smile that overtook his face when he heard his lover’s answer (they were technically lovers, they did everything lovers normally do. Onodera was just bull-headed and stubborn, and he knew Ritsu loved him anyway).

“I can’t promise you that, Onodera,” Takano smirked as he ruffled Ritsu’s hair. He smiled at the indignant yell of “Stop that!” that emitted from his Ritsu. He seemed to smile a lot around Ritsu.

“Whatever,” Ritsu huffed. Takano was probably smirking at him victoriously right now. What an asshole.

* * *

They walked down a sidewalk, side by side, as they headed for their apartment after getting off the train. The air around them felt familiar, nostalgic (he refused to acknowledge anything from 10 years ago, he stubbornly refuted). That feeling of stubbornness was short-lived, for he felt Takano’s hand as it crept closer to Ritsu’s, slowly easing into simply holding his hand like it was something precious, important.

Ritsu felt his face grow hot as a blush spread across his cheeks. He really wanted to remove his hand from Takano’s, but…this was a pretty nice feeling. He indulged himself in this feeling and, miraculously, even gripped Takano’s hand back. He heard the man’s breath hitch in surprise but ignored it out of embarrassment. What the hell was he doing?

Maybe they’ll happen to see An-chan at the end of the sidewalk like before, Ritsu mused. While she did drag problems into his kind-of-relationship with Takano, it also led to her willingly breaking off their engagement, which he was glad about. This arranged marriage thing was getting ridiculous; he wished he had the ability to refuse at the time.

_"Ritsu, there is no way out of this!” His father yelled. It seemed to be the only thing his father’s voice was capable of doing._

_“I don’t love An-chan that way, and you know that father!” Ritsu yelled helplessly. He’s known Kohinata An ever since he was 5, seeing as their families were pretty close friends, and they’d quickly clicked. His mother was glad her anti-social shy little boy finally had a friend, while his father seemed to comprehend some strange thought._

_His father always had a strange gleam in his eyes whenever he saw him with An-chan, but it was different from the one he usually received. He finally understood it after 7 years, when he’d become 12 years old recently._

_"You dare talk back to me?” His father quietly fumed. Ritsu’s breath froze in his chest as he recognized that tone of voice. “I-I’m so-”_

_And so the hitting began again._

_When he was limping back towards his bedroom, his mother noticed the way he was walking and gasped, calling for Alice. “Madam, what is it you need?”_

_“Get a first aid kit and an ice-pack, now!” His mother worriedly ordered. Alice nodded and left._

_He heard his mother’s footsteps, and then he collapsed into her arms and cried all over again. He was so weak. “My baby boy, where does it hurt?” his mother asked. He was grateful that she never asked what happened, or commented on his condition. She knew what happened, and she couldn’t even do anything. How she wished she could just get a divorce, but then she’d be leaving her son in the care of that monster that used to be her love (she knew he would win custody over Ritsu no matter how hard she tried, she knew)._

_She could only hug her son and hope he would be string about this. She would always be there for him. She didn’t know how wrong she was._

“Onodera,” Takano said, snapping Ritsu out of his daze. “We arrived.”

Ritsu let out a shaky laugh. “W-We did? That was fast.”

Takano gazed into his eyes for a few seconds (that felt like years), before he let it go and opted to discuss it later. He pretended not to notice the way Ritsu flinched when he’s spoken his name. Using a gentleness he only knew around Ritsu, he led him into the building and into the elevator.

When they entered Takano’s apartment, Ritsu sighed and slumped onto a couch, exhausted. “I’ll reheat dinner from last night, is that okay with you Ritsu?”

Ritsu didn’t seem to flinch at his first name, as he simply nodded tiredly.

 _Strange_ , Takano thought. What was wrong with Ritsu?

* * *

“Thanks for the dinner, Takano-san,” Ritsu said. The dinner was nice, but what was better was the aura of it all. He felt relaxed around this man, and he refused to address why. H knew, and Takano knew.

As Ritsu was heading out the door to get to his own apartment that was next door (damn coincidences), he heard Takano suddenly ask, “Onodera, what’s up with you?”

That name again.

He turned to Takano, a smile forced upon his lips, which was odd, as all his smiles around this man were natural. “What do you mean, Takano-san?”

Takano sighed. “I mean, what’s been eating at you? You seemed preoccupied all day long, and not in the good way that I like.”

Ritsu realized what he was implying, and promptly burst into flames, sputtering indignantly, “You perverted asshole!”

Takano cracked a smile, but it was gone a second later, his eyes serious. “So, what is it?”

Ritsu almost spilled everything at the almost desperate tone of voice Takano was using but he refrained from doing so. He didn’t want to burden Takano with his ridiculous concerns. “Nothing is wrong with me. May I leave now?”

Ritsu didn’t wait for an answer and turned to open the door.

A hand reached out and grabbed his wrists. He almost lashed out reflexively but realized it wasn’t his father, but Takano. He flinched. “N-Nothing is wrong, seriously.”

Takano’s concerned gaze bore into his skull. Ritsu almost sighed in relief when the hand left his wrist, but immediately tensed when Takano turned him around and embraced him.

His heart skipped a beat as it beat faster and faster. Why did this feel so intimate, so sacred? It was just a damn hug, from Takano of all people! He should be pulling away.

He felt himself relax into those arms, his body trembling slightly. “T-That name,” Ritsu mumbled into the other man’s chest.

He felt, more than heard, Takano hum thoughtfully, but he didn’t say anything. Ritsu loved this man’s ironic thoughtfulness. He continued, “I hate that name. It’s the root to all my problems, and it has done nothing but bad to me.”

His voice was wavering, and he felt his eyes water. “Everyone loves Onodera, not Ritsu! They only appreciate that part of my name, when it’s the main reason for all my problems! I work hard, I really do! Why do they all think I’m just a pampered useless rich kid?!”

Takano’s eyes widened as Ritsu’s rant went on, and felt a wet spot growing on his chest. He was crying. He felt guilt rise within him as he realized he’d caused this breakdown. “Oi, Ritsu-”

“I try so hard, but they all think the same and beat down my self-assurance! You asked why I’m so insecure, this is exactly why!” he felt his chest heave with the sobs that escaped him. Damn it, he’s done it now. The only person that managed to love him for himself finally saw his pampered self.

“Ritsu!” Takano yelled suddenly. Ritsu’s body jolted and he looks up to see Takano’s face deep with concern. His eyes held guilt and sadness, and then it was replaced with something else that Ritsu didn’t dare name.

“You really think I care about who your old man is?” Takano asked, his eyes searching his lover’s troubled, crying face. Ritsu nodded.

He almost yelled again but held himself back. Ritsu needed comfort, reassurance, not anger. “I might be the only one to say this, but I love _you_!”

Ritsu’s eyes widened in surprise. What was he saying?

“I’ve seen you work harder than anyone else, and you even do more work than what’s healthy, but that’s what makes you _you_! I don’t give a damn about your old man or your status! I know your work, and I know you do better than anyone I’ve ever had the honor of meeting! I love you for being Ritsu, not an Onodera,” Takano’s eyes spoke of love, sincerity, and desperation. Ritsu’s eyes watered all over again.

“H-How can you s-say those things,” Ritsu sobbed. “I’m not special, how can you-?”

“Because I know you, and I’ve had the honor of meeting you,” Takano stated boldly, surely. Ritsu looked into his eyes and saw all the honesty in them, the love they held for him. He was stating the truth? How can he be so sure about what he’s saying?

It was like Takano ha dread his mind, as his next words went right to the core of his very being.

“I love you, Ritsu. I love your workaholic self, and I love all your imperfections, I love all of you, your old man be damned. I love _you_.”

His sobs built up again, and he shoved his face into Takano’s warm chest, his arms wrapping around him like he was something special to him. He felt so loved, he hadn’t felt this loved in a long time.

He loved this man so much.

“I love you too,” Ritsu sobbed.

Takano’s eyes held so much joy at that moment, he could practically combust, but he kept himself in check and simply smiled, “Thank you, Ritsu.”

They stayed like for a long time and only moved to lie in bed in the same position.

Ritsu fell asleep, feeling content, safe, and loved, lying next to the man he loved.


	3. Mother Dearest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, This one-shot takes place in the day after the previous chapter, That Name.
> 
> FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT: I am a lazy piece of crap author that watches anime and reads books for a living, so updates will be VERY SLOW.
> 
> Note: I know the naming is confusing, so I’ll give a brief explanation.
> 
> If Masamune and Ritsu are used, it’s Takano’s POV.
> 
> WARNING: VERY BRIEF MENTIONS OF ABUSE.
> 
> If Takano and Ritsu are used, it’s Onodera’s POV.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI.

Takano Masamune is a proud man, and he prided himself in being an expert at reading and knowing his first love, Onodera Ritsu, the best out of everyone.

So, of course, as soon as Ritsu started his usual work routine, he noticed how off his lover seemed to be. Was he still thinking of what happened the other day? That breakdown had honestly scared Masamune, and he never wanted to see his love break down like that ever again, not if he can help it.

Today, like any other day, Ritsu seemed extremely stressed, as is the norm as a member of the Emerald Shoujo Manga Department. Normally, Masamune would shrug this off as his boyfriend was quite the annoying workaholic, and never knew his limits (The idiot even managed to collapse mid-discussion, right in front of Isaka-san, due to depriving himself of proper health care. That freaking _idiot_ ).

He was always gung-ho about his job, seeing as he’s the greenie (*wink*) and newbie of the bunch, but today was worse than normal. Masamune knows for a fact that Ritsu liked drowning himself in work and stress as a coping mechanism if anything were to happen, so he came to the conclusion that something was, indeed, bothering Ritsu.

He wants to know, so he will.

* * *

Ritsu was exhausted.

He sighed as he walked out of the train and out towards the street leading to his apartment that he, curse his luck, happened to live in right next to Takano’s. Being neighbors is just amazing, isn’t it?

Ritsu hastily came up with some excuse that he was sure Takano saw through as easily as looking through a clean sparkling window and ran out before his boss could argue.

He was ready to collapse in bed and sleep forever, but a knock on his door ruined that. Jeez, whoever could that be (note the sarcasm)? He groaned and got up to the door.

Onodera Ritsu is not an insane man, so he simply cracked the door open a little bit, enough to only peak through and see that the person standing in front of his door was indeed his prick of a boss and kind-of-boyfriend. “What?”

“Hello to you too, Ritsu,” Takano grunted, and easily pushed the door open, forcing himself in like the gentleman he was. “We’re heading out, change into something more comfortable.”

“Ha? Who the hell do you think you are and what gives you the right to-”

“This is an order from your boss,” Takano deadpanned, but his eyes shone with a sadistic gleam of joy at watching Ritsu argue and vent like an angry kitten.

“That’s-”

“Great, go get changed.”

Ritsu hated this man so, so much.

* * *

“Where are we going?” Ritsu asked, after taking 10 minutes to fume in his position in Takano’s car. He heard Takano sigh at the slight chill that entered through the open windows of the car, but all-in-all received no answer. Jerk.

A few more minutes of silence and Ritsu managed to successfully wander into his territory of dark thoughts. Tomorrow was most definitely not going to be a happy day, he just knew it. Who genuinely feels happy on the death anniversary of their mother?

“Onodera,” Takano spoke as he stopped the car. “Get out of the car.”

“Jeez, alright,” Ritsu mumbled in annoyance but did as he was told. Despite that, he couldn’t help but feel grateful towards Takano. After he’d broken down yesterday, Takano only called him ‘Onodera’ during work hours, but during their alone-time, all bets were off, and he was only ‘Ritsu’ to him. He ignored the warmth bubbling in his chest and walked beside his boss.

They stopped at the beginning of an extremely familiar pathway filled with Cherry Blossom trees as their little pink Sakura petals rained down on them from the light winds. It was still spring, and the Sakura trees managed to maintain their beauty throughout the entire season. Ritsu’s eyes never got enough of the view, the beauty of soft pink petals as they fluttered down, creating a serene image of calm and serendipity.

Ritsu sneaked a glance at Takano as he was observing the petals as well, and realized that Takano’s eyes were questioning, even though they held that beautiful awe he always had back in high-school. Ritsu barely contained the smile that blossomed onto his face, and his green eyes shone with uncontained peace.

Takano somehow knew Ritsu was feeling down and took him to the place he loved most to help him, to make him happy. How can this man so seamlessly sacrifice for Ritsu so much? He felt his cheeks heat up, and he turned his eyes away as he spoke, barely above a soft whisper as to prevent destroying the serene aura of the moment. “T-Thank you for doing this, Takano-san.”

Masamune noticed the way Ritsu shyly averted his eyes and smiled, feeling unexplainable joy at this very moment. It felt very nostalgic, to walk such a path with his lover’s hand in his own. It took him back to their high-school days. He was suddenly filled with so much joy; he was glad, so, so glad, that he found his love again.

“N-ne, Takano-san,” Ritsu softly stuttered. He took another breath and continued, “Can you come down here again tomorrow, around 5 after work?”

Masamune let a look of surprise leak into his expression. Was Ritsu actually asking him on a date? He didn’t try to contain the smile this time and answered, “Sure.”

Ritsu had no idea what he was doing. Did he seriously just ask Takano to join him in doing his yearly tradition during this time around? The thought sounded atrocious, but then again, Takano had done a lot for him this past year. Ever since high-school, Ritsu believed he could never love again, yet here he was again, with the exact same man he’s loved since 13 years ago. A lot has changed in his life this year, and he couldn’t bring himself to call Takano a bad change.

They walked down the path, hands linked, as they both felt that familiar warmth bubble within them after 10 long years.

* * *

As per his lover’s request, Masamune arrived right at 4:58 p.m. and waited for Ritsu. He looked up at the sound of hasty running, realizing it was the planner himself. 5 minutes late. Masamune sighed.

“You’re late,” He stated bluntly, his eyes searching Ritsu’s face, and was surprised when his eyes wandered towards his arms, where a bouquet of an array of flowers laid in his arms. He decided to not ask who they were for, making the decision of waiting for Ritsu to tell him by himself.

“S-Sorry,” Ritsu panted, probably from running all the way here, “I had to make a quick stop first.”

They walked down the same path they’d walked yesterday, and then Ritsu made a sudden right turn. Where were they going? Masamune wondered curiously.

The answer was not what he was expecting, nor did he like it. It was a graveyard. Why were they in a graveyard? He glanced at Ritsu and noticed he was taking in a deep breath, preparing himself. So the person they were visiting was important then, but why would Ritsu feel the need to ask him to join him?

They walked down the path, ignoring the graves as they passed by them. They stopped at a small hill within the graveyard, one that held a tree above it, its shadow looming over the grave, as though it was protecting the person’s grave like a guardian.

Ritsu walked up towards the grave, and Takano hastily followed him. The younger took a breath and finally spoke up into the eerie silence, “Hey mom.”

Masamune felt his eyes widen. This was Ritsu’s mother? Didn’t she call him every other day at work? He thought it over and realized that the lady Ritsu addressed as ‘mother’ was probably his step-mother, or a foster one (definitely not adoptive, as he was sure, last he checked, that the head of Onodera Publishing was still alive and well).

“It’s been a while since I’ve visited you, I’m sorry,” Ritsu said, his voice wavering as his eyes watered. “I can’t really find the time with all those demands my boss has been giving me.” He let out a small laugh, but it sounded desperate to Masamune, as though he couldn’t find any words to say,

Ritsu kneeled down and placed the flowers at the grave. “You’ve always loved these flowers, so I hope you still do in heaven.”

This time, he did let out a sob. Masamune made move to hug the younger man, but he stopped a second later. Ritsu brought him here for a reason, and if he wanted comfort, he would have said so in his own way.

Suddenly, a hand was grasping his own, pulling him forward. Masamune stumbled but managed to find his ground as he glanced at Ritsu questioningly. What was he doing?

“Mom,” Ritsu spoke softly, “remember when I told you about that boy when I was 7? You said it was normal to like boys, and I believed you. You believed me too, you believed I could find happiness.” Ritsu shot him a glance, his eyes holding a strange emotion. “You were right.”

“Ritsu-” Takano spoke, surprised. Ritsu stopped him and continued, “I’ve known him since high school, but he broke my heart back then, and I guess I broke his too.” Ritsu kept his voice steady as he spoke, “I found him again, 10 years later, and I-I loved him all over again, mom.”

His heart was beating rapidly, and his eyes felt like saucers. Masamune couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was he-

“I love him, mom. I want you to meet him, but you can’t, so I’ll introduce you to him. His name is Takano Masamune, and I think he has sadistic tendencies.” Ritsu let out a laugh, and Masamune smiled.

“I wanted you to know that I’m finally happy, mom. I hope you are too, I-I really miss you,” Ritsu sobbed out, and Takano tightened his grip on his hand. Ritsu squeezed back, grateful for the support. “I’m happy, so be happy too, mommy.”

Ritsu broke into sobs, and Masamune did his job and pulled him into a big hug, feeling entirely overwhelmed. Ritsu felt the need to show his mom that he has found love with him, and even pulled him all the way here just to do exactly that. Masamune felt his heart skip a beat, and a bittersweet smile adorned his face.

Masamune pulled away for a second, and Ritsu looked adorably confused, with his big green eyes watering as they questioned what he was doing. Masamune smiled comfortingly, and kneeled in front of the grave as he spoke, “I love your son more than words can express, Mrs. Onodera, so please trust me to take care of him.”

Ritsu’s breathing almost stopped altogether as he heard Takano’s words, and his heart leaped in his chest. He could only let out a confused, yet happy, sob.

“I’ve been in love with him for years, and I always will be, so trust me when I say, even I am not worthy of such a beautiful and amazing person. I don’t deserve his love, but I do my best to return the favor, so rest assured, your son is in safe hands.”

Masamune stood up as he finished, “Rest in peace, Mrs. Onodera, and may you find happiness as well.”

Ritsu cried harder, but Takano was there, so it’s okay. He squeezed Ritsu’s hand and pulled him away from the grave, and out into the cherry blossoms, where Masamune would insure Ritsu would find his happiness and keep it, hopefully with him.

They walked away from the graveyard, hand in hand, one sobbing and one comforting, as they walked home.

Happiness and love were feelings he had never considered, Ritsu’s emotion muddled brain thought. It’s alien, but with Takano Masamune, he could keep them there, and he was sure Takano felt the same.


	4. Nostalgic Melody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOZ! IT IS I! Anyways, if y’all are disappointed about the slow updating thing, sorry, but I managed to get my ass to write another chapter so, yay! I hope you guys enjoy this one. FUN FACT: this head-canon is what rooted this entire fan-fiction idea into my head, so this is like the origins of this series. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI IN ANY WAY, I ONLY OWN THIS PLOT.

_A melody rang in a grand room. The room was huge, so huge it felt lonely to the child sitting upon the piano bench, but, he sighed, it was either this or father’s rage. The child, Onodera Ritsu, preferred this loneliness over the latter, thank you very much. That was not to say that he actually liked this loneliness though._

_He lived in a mansion a little separated from the main city, in an area of greenery and vast fields of flowers. That sounded nice and all, but the inside of the house wasn’t as such at all. It was the exact opposite._

_The inside of the Onodera manor felt cold and lonely, seeing as only a family of three, plus the 20 or so servants, lived in that house. Any warmth that existed in the house had disappeared years ago after the late wife of the head of the Onodera family passed away. The child had loved her so much; she was the one he ran to after drowning in the hostile and cold aura of his father, after almost falling over from how long he’s gone over the same 5 English books within the past few hours._

_It was gone now._

_Ritsu sighed again, this time sadly and brokenly. He missed his mother so much._

_She was the one that managed to genuinely get him to give piano lessons a try after his father had been pressing for weeks to just start on them already. She made him excited to learn._

_With a deep breath and a goal in mind, Onodera Ritsu exhaled and brought his nimble fingers down onto the grand piano as a nostalgic melody filled the room._

_He smiled._

* * *

The sound of Ritsu’s obnoxious alarm clock interrupted whatever joy Ritsu had been feeling in his dream as he sat up in surprise, his bedhead a mess and his eyes lost. He turned to glance at the cause of his sudden unhappiness and realized in distaste that he had work in two hours.

He sighed, annoyed, but got up anyways. He started out his daily morning routine as his thoughts wandered far and deep. _I haven’t thought about that in a while now_ , he mused sadly. Long ago, when his mother was still alive, they had come up with a melody to play each other whenever they felt down. It was a peaceful tune created and played with love, and that’s what made it so special to them.

 _I haven’t touched a piano in a long time, actually,_ Ritsu thought. Not many stores sold grand pianos, and if they did, they were always damn expensive. Besides, his job (and boss, he grumbled) wouldn’t even allow him an hour of rest, how would it give him enough time to but a piano and play one?

With a heavy heart, Ritsu finished his breakfast (Onodera Ritsu actually _cooked_? He blames Takano for this change) and got ready to head to literal hell.

* * *

Takano Masamune loves Onodera Ritsu. There’s so much he loves about him, and every day, he switched between what he loved most about his beloved (Yesterday it was his eyes, and the day before that, it was his lips). Today, Masamune decided, it was his lover’s cute little hands that looked small compared to his strangely (for a Japanese man, anyway) huge hands. They looked so cute, and the fingers looked to have more width than Masamune’s.

 _When will he realize how damn cute he is,_ Masamune thought, his eyes set on the source of his musings. He watched as Ritsu moved through multiple papers, his eyes determined. He loved this man so much.

As Masamune returned to work, a fleeting thought washed over him. _What else can those hands do?_

Seeing as he was the son of the head of Onodera, and based on past experience with him, it came as no surprise that Ritsu grew up the typical “My daddy is rich” life. Heck, he was even fluent in English (Did Ritsu realize how sexy he sounded when he spoke English? He should tell him, just to see his face explode in adorable red). What else did he learn, growing up the way he did?

Masamune really missed out a lot, by like, 10 years, and he wanted to get all the information he could on his lover after finally embracing him again.

Masamune put away the thought, and went back to work, the sound of Hatori yelling at Chiharu Yoshikawa registering in his ears.

* * *

Onodera Ritsu questioned many things in his life, and right now, all he could register was the fact that Takano Masamune was standing in front him as he gestured towards the small piano he had somehow discovered Ritsu had wanted to buy for weeks.

“Ano, Takano-san,” Ritsu stammered, “What is this exactly?”

“Has the stress finally gotten to your eyes and made you blind? It’s a piano, duh.”

Ritsu felt a tick on his forehead, and he sighed irritably as he retorted, “I am aware of that, oh great Takano-sama. What I meant was _why is there a piano in my living room?_ ”

Takano had the nerve to look smug about this entire ordeal as he smirked, “It’s for you, of course. I heard that you played piano and took it upon myself to hear you play it.”

Ritsu blinked in surprise. That…wasn't the response he was expecting.

“Wait a second,” Ritsu yelped, the situation finally registering in his head. “First of all, how did you know that? Secondly, _How did you get into my apartment you **creep**?!”_

Masamune nonchalantly sighed at the typical frantic Ritsu freak-out and simply stated, “Secret.”

Remember that tick mark? Yeah, it was all over his face now. “YOU-”

“Ritsu just play one song. That’s all.”

Ritsu hesitated in his rant, and then he stopped altogether. Pianos brought back memories of his mother, and those always struck a sad nerve within him. He shook his head silently as he answered, “No.”

Takano didn’t seem to like that answer as he frowned. “Why not?”

“Because…” Ritsu trailed off, unable to answer. While he was willing to play to himself, playing the piano to someone else, _for_ someone else _with_ someone else in the same room, was something he hadn’t done in a long time. It saddened him to say that while the piano calmed him with the presence of his mother, it also put massive pressure and anxiety on him as his father always watched his piano lessons after his mother had passed away.

“Just because,” He finalized, his eyes, unwillingly, turning sad.

Masamune noticed the sad gleam within his eyes and felt bad. Why was he so pushy? He accepted Ritsu’s answer and nodded. He wouldn’t bother Ritsu right now, he’d press him for answers later. For now…

He leaned, his lips finding Ritsu’s. Green eyes looked up in shock, and he gasped at the sudden contact and kiss. He didn’t even resist as much as he would like to as he kissed Takano back. Warmth overcame his sadness.

When he pulled away, he was panting, his lips bruised, and his eyes glazed over at the strange fuzziness that overcame him. Takano smirked at him as he teased, “That’s my revenge for now, though I can’t say it was revenge to you.”

Ritsu vehemently denied that. “What are you implying you-!?”

Takano didn’t even indulge him with an answer as he opened Ritsu’s front door and waved, “Don’t be late again, Onodera. See ya.”

The red flush that inhabited his face grew larger as he watched Takano walk away. Finally, he sighed as he slouched on his couch and stared at the medium-sized piano that probably cost Takano a damn lot of money.

“What do I do, mom?” He wondered aloud, truly at a loss.

* * *

Masamune considers himself as a wise man, so he took his own word for it when he sighed to himself, “He just needs time.”

Weeks later, as Masamune was checking Erika-sensei’s manuscripts, he heard a rough knock on his door and immediately identified it was Onodera. Only he would knock so loudly. The 29-year-old got up as he opened the front door and, quite smug about the fact that _Ritsu_ had come knocking his door this time around, smirked, “Come to finally confess, Onodera? It’s about time.”

Ritsu’s face, predictably, erupted in its typical yet endearing shade of red as he retorted, “As if! Your head is too big right now, maybe later asshole.”

The older of the two froze in surprise. Ritsu didn’t seem to register what he’d just uttered as he grabbed Takano’s hand and pulled him out towards his apartment. Somewhere in Masamune’s dazed thoughts (Ritsu reached out and grabbed his hand _willingly_. He took the _initiative_ , Masamune short-circuited), he thought, _did I close the door?_

Masamune was, quite rudely, shoved onto a couch as Ritsu huffed, “Stay there and don’t try anything sneaky.”

Takano seemed to finally come back to his senses as he smiled, “What is this, Onodera?”

Ritsu sassed back, _“It’s_ _a piano, duh.”_

Takano chuckled as he responded, “I can see that, Onodera.”

Ritsu ignored him as pulled the piano’s bench out and sat down. Masamune felt his mouth gape a little in surprise as he realized what was going on. It took Ritsu weeks, but he actually decided to trust him with something so personal (How he knows that is another story for another day). He felt an immense and giddy joy that he hasn’t felt since high-school bubble inside his chest.

The sound of the first note struck Masamune’s ears, and just like that, he was enchanted. The tune was so soft and peaceful, but it held a story, and Masamune wanted to learn it and read it. This was a story Ritsu felt he could entrust with him.

He felt a warmth and serenity flood him as he listened to his not-quite-lover play the soft and bittersweet melody, his brain memorizing every little note and pitch change. It was over before he knew it.

Ritsu was still at the bench, but Masamune could catch his shoulders shaking slightly as he mumbled softly, “I did it, mom.”

Masamune suddenly felt like he was intruding, but Ritsu then suddenly turned to him, not quite looking him in the eye, but still looking at him, as he admitted softly, “My mother and I created this melody together. We called it _‘for love’_.”

The older man tried to make up an answer, and said, “Why would you show me this?”

Ritsu’s cheeks flushed as he muttered, “I promised her I would play it to someone important.”

Masamune knew his boyfriend was a tsundere, so by “important”, that meant “someone I love” in Ritsu-speak. Suddenly it made sense.

_“Your head is too big right now, maybe later asshole.”_

This was Ritsu’s own way of confessing to him, and Masamune suddenly felt like the happiest man alive as he got up and pulled Ritsu into a big hug, his own heart beating like crazy. This feeling, this love, it was all he suddenly felt he needed in life.

He could feel Ritsu shaking against him, and Masamune murmured softly, as to not break the serene atmosphere of the room, “Thank you.”

They stayed like that for a long time, until Masamune somehow forced Ritsu to cuddle with him in bed.

What had he just done?! Ritsu was in full-blown panic mode as his heart sped up and his face burning astronomically. Looking up at Takano’s happy and peaceful face as he slept on, Ritsu couldn’t bring himself to hate his sudden urge to indirectly confess. Maybe it _was_ worth it.

“Screw you, Onodera,” Takano mumbled in his sleep.

Ritsu felt a tick mark growing.

Nope. It wasn’t. It definitely wasn’t (Except it actually was).

Ritsu closed off any thoughts running and cuddled up against Takano’s warm chest and lulled himself to sleep as he counted his heartbeats. 

He could get used to this love, he smiled.

_Thank you, mother._


	5. Simplicity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM ALIVE AND WELL! Y'all already know my updates are slow anyways so don't act surprised this has been posted so late.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI, I MERELY OWN THIS STORY IDEA.

Onodera Ritsu grew up a rich kid, and even if things got bad, he was still content with his comfy life as long as nobody made a bigger deal out of it than necessary.

He never contemplated the idea of a simple life until, predictably, Saga-senpai happened.

(Ritsu, 10 years later, bitterly mused over the fact that most major changes in his life all came down to the same reason of his current and constant stress-induced stomach aches, Takano-san.)

When Saga-senpai had saved him from the way-too-nosey lady's barrage of questions ("All fast-food workers do that, Oda," Saga-senpai shrugged. "It's kind of their job."), he told Ritsu that this was what most kids his age tended to eat, and love as well.

Ritsu didn't really understand it until he had actually tasted the food and fawned over it like a mother to her newborn baby. This...simplicity was a nice change of pace in his fancy rich life that he had, sadly, grown into.

He yearned for it more and more every day, the more he saw his beloved senpai.

It didn't last long, though.

That feeling of former excitement became strangely nostalgic and extremely constant in his adult life, and he wishes that he could re-experience that pure joy of tasting simplicity for the first time.

The break-up was like a judge slamming down their gavel, sealing his fate to eternal pain and stress under his oh-so-loving family. It was a wake-up call, reminding him that he was Onodera, not Oda. He couldn't experience the joy and simple times Oda had lived, not when he was Onodera Ritsu.

Maybe that was one of the reasons their break-up had hit him so hard (ironic, seeing as _he_ was the one that kicked Saga-senpai), the fact that he had to go back to _that_ life.

The yearning lasted for years, and when he did successfully achieve his simple life, his _dream_ , he didn't expect the very reason he craved simplicity in the first place to be there in all his headache-inducing glory.

No pain no gain, huh?

* * *

"Oi, Onodera," Masamune bashed Ritsu's head with his paper roll as he continued, "No sleeping on the job."

Ritsu glared at him, as expected of him, and retorted, "I wasn't sleeping, your eyes are simply going blind with age!"

Masamune felt that he had a right to be insulted. He was, after all, only 30. Besides, didn't Ritsu turn 27 a while back? "If I'm so old, be a good young man and do this work for me. I am, after all, old and in need of help."

His smirk was _way_ too smug for Ritsu's liking, to which he yelled, "Don't drop your work on me just because you're a-"

"Say one more word, and I'll make sure to double that mountain of yours," Takano, that bastard, smiled oh-so-innocently.

 _'This guy...'_ Ritsu seethed but remained silent as he certainly wanted to sleep tonight at a decent hour, thank you very much.

Masamune smiled to himself as he walked back to his desk. Ritsu had truly improved his status as the greenie and was now as successful as the others. He was extremely proud of Ritsu, seeing as he was a complete stranger to manga, even as a high-schooler, and was suddenly here.

Speaking of improvement, things with Ritsu have been going pretty well. He seems to be accepting his affections more than he used to. A thought came to his mind in a flash.

This could earn him the last few points to those words he has been craving, needing, to hear from his lover.

 _'Yes, this would do_ ,' Masamune thought with a smile.

* * *

This...wasn't a part of his agenda, Ritsu thought, his eyes twitching.

"It's rude to keep a man waiting, you know," Takano drawled from his seat at the dining table as he _casually_ gestured towards the sandwiches stacked on a plate in front of him.

"What...What exactly is this?" Ritsu tightly smiled, his eyes screaming murder. Takano had the gall to chuckle in his stupid attractive- nope, he did _not_ just think that.

"Why, Ritsu, it seems your _selective_ memory loss is catching up to you again," Takano smirked, the stressed word implying the fact that he was still quite salty about their first reunion.

"Okay, first of all, I was _traumatized_ because of you, so shut your trap! Secondly, I do not recall ever accepting such an invitation!" Ritsu exclaimed angrily, yet still felt a blush paint his cheeks.

"You never specified your answer, so as your boss, I took the liberty of deciding for you," Takano smugly declared, shamelessly smiling innocently at him.

Damn that smile, damn that man, and damn it, why the hell is he finding that smile _cute_?!

How did it come to this in the first place?

* * *

_Ritsu didn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this._

_As he was on the phone with An-chan, who was now aware of his 'relationship' with his boss, Takano loudly, most likely on purpose, proclaimed, "Onodera, You're having dinner with me today."_

_An went silent, and Ritsu felt an incoming headache as he sighed irritatedly, "Takano-san, one, you know my answer already, and two, I'm_ on the phone _."_

_"Great, then I'll see you after work," The cocky pain-in-the-ass boss announced, already walking away from the seething brunette as he yelled after him, "I DIDN'T MEAN YES, YOU BASTARD!"_

_Takano laughed it off and ignored his exclamation as he got back to his work, leaving Ritsu even more annoyed than usual (then again, this was becoming the new 'usual')._

_Masamune smiled, his thoughts wandering back towards today's plans. Any time with his darling Ritsu was time well-spent, he declared to himself._

_Kisa's pained wails registered in his ears as he realized, sadly, that that manuscript on his desk wasn't gonna get itself done, and wisely decided to tend to it._

* * *

"Nope," Ritsu suddenly spoke, making a move towards the front door, "I'm not doing this."

He almost left, until he realized this was his own apartment. Wait a second...

"You broke into my apartment?!"

Takano scoffed, "No, I invited myself in. Now chow down and sit your pretty little ass down."

(The fact that he messed up the order of his statement screamed of his messed up way and order of attempting to seduce Ritsu again.)

Ritsu hated this but hated himself even more for not hating it enough. In fact, some dormant part of him _liked_ this. What was wrong with him?!

The green-eyed editor resigned to his fate, ignoring the fact that Takano was surprised at his lack of fight, and sat down.

"Well?" Ritsu demanded.

Masamune's lips twitched into an honest smile. Ritsu may not realize it, or like it, but his attitude still held bits and pieces of his upbringing. He didn't mind, he found Ritsu's high-and-mighty, yet also shy, attitude endearing.

"Whatever the young master commands," Takano mocked, yet even that couldn't get Ritsu to ignore the _happy_ gleam in Takano's eyes. Had he caused that? He blushed at the thought.

They dug in, and two sandwiches in, Ritsu chimed in, "This feels familiar."

The images flashed in his head like a video on high speed, the emotions, the joy, pickling his skin as he relived those days briefly.

Masamune smiled. So the memory wasn't lost to Ritsu (he sighed in relief inside).

"Ah, yes," the dark-haired man smirked, "Our very first date. Good days; right, Ritsu?"

"G-Good?!" Ritsu sputtered indignantly, "How were any of those days _good_ in any way?!"

"You brought me back to life."

The statement took Ritsu a full minute to register until a red blush went over his entire face. What's with the random cheesy pick-up lines?!

"I'm not lying in any way, Ritsu," Masamune declared boldly, surely. "You changed my life for the Better, gave it meaning. Even if that caused me 10 years of pain, you were still on my mind, and that's what, essentially, kept me alive. Pain is proof of life, isn't it?"

Ritsu's emerald eyes widened in surprise, and a choked gasp escaped him. There was no way. How could someone like him leave such an effect on someone, especially Takano-san?

Masamune noted Ritsu's almost-wet, but _beautiful_ , eyes and red cheeks, and stared into those gems that he treasured, for years now, as he spoke quietly, "Thank you, Ritsu. I truly love you, and your love was what kept me going."

A tear slipped from his green eyes as Ritsu whispered, "It's unfair how you can affect me so easily."

"What-"

"What about you?" Ritsu asked suddenly, looking into Takano's amber eyes that he, admittedly, loved. "Do you realize how much you've impacted my life?"

Masamune felt his eyes widen a fraction at Ritsu's bold question. Was this-

"I was so _alone_ ," The brunette whispered, and then he looked up, his tears leaking. "I was drowning in my own life, standing on a pedestal that others set for me!"

Masamune's heart skipped a beat, and his eyes searched for Ritsu's. They made eye contact, and everything fell. Masamune suddenly saw such raw emotion, _love_ , that his own eyes watered up a little.

"When you came in, I suddenly felt _alive,"_ Ritsu cried. "I was always treated like a Prince, and then you walked into my life and showed my simplicity! You have no idea how long I've wanted to be treated normally, wanted to live a _simple_ life like a _normal_ person!"

Ritsu choked out a sob, his voice almost wavering if it weren't for Takano's supportive gaze as he whispered, "Thank _you_ , Takano."

Masamune doesn't know when he stood up, but the moment he did, Ritsu was in his arms, shaking as he cried and thanked him over and over again.

"Ritsu," Masamune whispered lovingly, his thumb lifting the other's chin as he stated honestly, "I love you."

Another sob escaped Ritsu as he shook his head and hugged Takano close to him. "Never do that to me again. Don't make me lose what little happiness I've finally achieved," he pleaded.

Masamune smiled, and for a horrifying moment, Ritsu imagined he would laugh, just like back then. Instead, he simply leaned in and sealed their lips together like a secret promise that was only for them to hear.

"Never," Masamune declared quietly, "Never again will I make that mistake. I love you, Ritsu."

Ritsu squeezed his eyes shut and whispered, "Me too."

"I _always_ will."


	6. Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYY! I’m Backity back back! Credit to my best friend, Duck, for that last phrase; Lunalovelloyd, updating one slow agonizing chapter after another, am I right? Enjoy my fellow fangirls!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: IF I OWNED THIS ANIME/MANGA, RITSU AND TAKANO WOULD BE MARRIED BY NOW. HINT: I DON’T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THIS PLOT.
> 
> Side Note: Isn’t it weird how most fans are used to referring to Ritsu by his first name and Takano by his last? I’m sure it’s because of how many times Ritsu says “Takano-san”, but you get my point.

Onodera Ritsu is a walking contradiction, Masamune mused as he hummed under his breath at 6 am of that faithful and lazy Tuesday. He was making breakfast, quite content with the silence, when his lover of 5 months greeted, yawning adorably, “Good morning, Masamune.”

It had taken the younger man 3 months to give up on his respectful referring to Masamune by his last name and begin using his first name whenever they were alone. Sadly, Ritsu was still uptight about declaring his lover’s first name as boldly as his best friend, Yokozawa Takafumi. That uptightness was something Masamune still struggled with easing, he frowned thoughtfully.

“Good Morning to you too, Sleeping Beauty,” the older teased as he mixed the scrambled eggs in the pan (Ritsu hates the burns that always came out of fully round and unmixed scrambled eggs, ironically enough). Ritsu grumbled at the teasing and yawned again.

He already knew what would happen next; it took Ritsu a minute less than a month ago. Masamune felt a smile stretch his lips as he felt his tiny lover’s arms wrap around his middle shyly. He could feel the burning blush of Ritsu’s face as he shoved his face into the older man’s back.

“Not that I don’t want to stay like this all day, but breakfast is ready,” The editor-in-chief said, feeling strangely content. Ritsu mumbled out a shaky “sorry” and backed off, the loss of the warmth making a frown almost overtake his smile.

As they were eating their breakfast, Masamune idly mentioned, as though an everyday thing, “You’re adorable, you know that, Ritsu?”

“I’m not,” Ritsu retorted, the usual bite in his tone gone, as was his initial hesitation to kiss back Masamune when he planted a peck on his lips. “Don’t do that so suddenly!”

“That’s simply too cruel. How can you deny a man such a simple pleasure?”

“You’re too dramatic,” he flatly answered.

Masamune chuckled, wanting to have the last word, and added, “Only for you.”

As expected, Ritsu’s face bloomed with a deep red that complimented him quite nicely. That was one thing Masamune was glad the man didn’t lose when he started dating him, his adorable blush. It was so _Ritsu_ ; he almost wouldn’t be the same without it.

“Must you always have the last word?” the young editor questioned as he finished his breakfast.

“Yes, as your boss, I simply cannot allow an employee that’s below me to have the last word.”

Ah, yes, he almost forgot how insufferably annoying his boyfriend was. “You’re an asshole.”

Masamune laughed, standing up to pick up their plates. After doing so, he wrapped his arms around the unsuspecting Ritsu’s waist, pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss that drew a low moan out of the younger.

“What was that for?” He implored breathlessly, trying to catch his breath.

Masamune grinned devilishly as he responded, “That’s for riling me up so shamelessly with that outfit, or lack thereof.”

“Shameles-” Ritsu fumed, only to be pulled into another kiss.

When they finally pulled away to breathe, Masamune took his sweet time to appreciate the rather lewd outfit. His lover had gone with just putting on one of the older man’s sweaters, a sweater that was a few sizes too big on him, making it almost slip off one shoulder and go past his ass.

“You pervert,” Ritsu hissed as he pulled away, not really biting with his tone. “I’m going to get ready for work.”

“Yes, of course, as the young master pleases,” he cheekily snickered.

He managed to skillfully dodge the book thrown his way, still laughing.

* * *

“Ne, Ricchan, can you make me 10 copies of this document for the next meeting?” Kisa asked from his slouched position on his seat. Ritsu looked up from Mutou-sensei’s storyboard and nodded, “Sure.”

Ritsu moved to do as he was asked, ignoring Kisa’s loud question that was directed towards the rest of the Emerald crew. “Is it just me, or has Ricchan been happier and more… relaxed lately?”

Hatori agreed and voiced, “True, he has been moping and groaning less than he used to.”

Mino just nodded silently. What a very Mino-like answer.

Takano smirked as he took the chance to pry teasingly, rather loudly, “I wonder why that is?”

Ritsu felt a growing headache as he glared murderously at his boss. “I’m not answering that, Takano-san.”

Kisa looked disappointed at his reply and pressed, “Why not tell us?”

“Yeah, Onodera, why not?”

Ritsu truly and honestly contemplated smacking that annoying grin off his lover’s face, but instead replied with, “I am under no obligation to tell the likes of you, _especially_ you!”

He was very much aware that Takano already knew the answer to both of Kisa’s answers. What an asshole, he grumbled.

“Got yourself a lover, didntcha?” Kisa joked, but looked surprised to see Ritsu’s blush. “I’m right?!”

“Shut up,” he whispered. “Please.”

Takano tuned out the rest of the conversation. Ritsu was still shy about making their relationship status public, but he couldn’t hold that against him. His parents weren’t the most understanding, for one. Also, while Ritsu tried to play pretend, Takano realized the crew was already aware of their relationship. They were pretty obvious, huh?

It took them a while, but after a year of Ritsu dancing around him, he finally embraced him. It was all worth it, Masamune smiled. He would never trade the happiness he was in for anything, be it disapproving parents or jealous college friends (he narrowed his eyes at the thought of Nao).

One thing he did discover, however, as soon as Ritsu took his hand fully, was how affectionate a lover the younger man was. While still shy and hesitant, after a few tries and stalling, Ritsu would sink into the most affectionate and adorable behavior around him.

Some of which included hugging him out of nowhere, initiating kisses every now and then, making him meals (that he admittedly doesn’t always get right), and sitting closer to him on the couch until he was resting his head on his shoulder or hugging his arm. Granted, he was already aware of some of them, but now he had access to all of them. He smiled almost giddily at the thought.

He had even given Ritsu a copy of his apartment’s key, intending for it to be a subtle nudge that whispered: “Please live with me”. He was a patient man; he managed to get Ritsu after 10 years of pain and another extra year of wooing. He could wait another year or two for Ritsu to finally say yes to moving in with him, even though he practically was at this point.

With another glance at Ritsu, he went back to work (i.e. yelling at poor unsuspecting and tardy mangakas).

* * *

They walked back home hand-in-hand with the promise of having dinner together (really, it was only an excuse for Ritsu to stay over again).

“It’s really getting colder lately,” Ritsu shivered.

Masamune hummed in agreement, focusing on the warmth in his palm. Ritsu was always somehow warm, was it because of the surplus of affection, love, and fiery passion in him? He smiled at the feeling of knowing someone so sweet had chosen him.

“Taka- er, Masamune,” Ritsu spoke up softly, his eyes fixing on the lamps that almost looked like stars lighting up their path. Masamune hummed again in question.

“W-Would it be okay if I used that key you gave me…for something more?”

The words took time to form under the stuttering, but when they were finally clear, Masamune’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

He blushed heavily as he gathered his words again, trying to calm down his frantically freaking out brain and thoughts. “I-I mean…”

“Yes?” It sounded very hopeful, like a child told they would receive ice-cream, and Ritsu’s heart ached and skipped a beat at the same time. How could he draw out such a part of Takano that no one has ever seen? Was he that special to him?

“C-Can I move in with you?”

Masamune was _sure_ he was dead the moment those words reached his ears. He took a calming breath as he tried to calm down his heart. “Are you serious?”

“Y-You don’t have to accept or anything! It was just-”

“You honestly mean it?” Masamune repeated almost desperately like he couldn’t quite believe it, like he was _anticipating_ this. Ritsu’s heart skipped a beat again and melted.

“Yes,” he affirmed boldly, turning his gems-for-eyes towards Takano’s own. His eyes looked so bright, so happy. It honestly made Ritsu feel special, _loved_ , like he was Takano’s galaxy.

“Oh my god, for sure,” Masamune breathed in awe. “You don’t even need to ask!”

“I don’t?”

“No,” the man chuckled gleefully. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long; of course!”

It may seem like he was exaggerating, a little too happy about something so normal, but to Masamune, moving in was a big leap in their growing relationship. It was a bridge that would later connect to a bigger path that he hoped they would achieve one day. He truly had big hopes for them and their future.

“I-I…Thank you,” Ritsu mumbled gratefully, blushing a bright red that just made Masamune want to hug him. He did exactly that.

Ritsu’s breath hitched in surprise as he was pulled into his lover’s warm chest, his ear pressed against the place where his heart was beating as fast, if not faster, than his own. This man…

He loved this man so much.

“God, you have no idea how much I love you, Ritsu,” Masamune spoke softly, fearing he would break the warm and loving air around them. “I love you.”

Ritsu’s eyes watered at the confession that made his heart almost explode every time, no matter how many times he’s heard it, feeling unworthy of such love, such affection.

“I love you too,” he answered emotionally, hugging the man back strongly.

The older smiled as his eyes nearly watered as well, memorizing every detail of what he was feeling. This love he was being presented felt overwhelming. He mumbled a small “Hey” that had Ritsu looking up to him like the adorable puppy he was.

“I had a lot of things in my life, but this is something I can never give away,” he confessed softly, lovingly. “Thank you for loving me, Ritsu.”

“I should be the one saying that,” Ritsu let out a laugh and a sob that merged to form a beautiful melody that made Masamune want to just listen to on repeat.

“You’ve turned me into such a sap,” Masamune laughed. “I can’t bring myself to hate that, though.”

Ritsu laughed again. “Sorry, Mr. demon-editor-in-chief.”

“God, what you do to me…”

His whisper was barely heard, almost fleeting, as they both leaned in, the sudden fall of snow making the scene seem right out of a fairytale as the lovers kissed passionately, utterly in love with each other.

What a feeling it is to be in love.


	7. Forgive or Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’M ALIIIIVE! Slow updates, love ‘em! Honestly, Thank you guys for being so patient with my lazy ass. I know the pain of slow updates, so truly, Thanks! 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI OR ANYTHING FROM IT, ALL I OWN IS THIS STORY.
> 
> Fair warning: SPOILER ALERT TO ANIME-ONLY FANS.

“I hate you.”

A chuckle left the dark-haired male as he unapologetically responded, “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“You are so not,” Ritsu snapped, “I was just making dinner, how was that-”

“Everything you do is sexy, darling~” Masamune drawled, laughing as he dodged a skillfully aimed kick towards his crotch.

“SHUT UP!”

There was silence for a second, and Ritsu almost thought he’d hurt the other man, until he felt lips softly land on his cheek, mumbling, “I’m sorry it hurts, Ritsu.”

His face almost exploded. Looking away shyly, he voiced, “I-It’s okay. I didn’t _completely_ hate it, so…”

“Why can’t you just admit it felt gr-”

His amber eyes landed on glaring emerald ones that basically screamed his ‘hate’ for the taller man. Masamune couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him at the embarrassed expression on his lover’s face.

“Do you want anything in particular for breakfast?” He asked, standing up from the bed to cover up his naked form. He preened at the way Ritsu tried to sneak glances at him, smirking when Ritsu realized he was caught.

“I know I’m gorgeous, but answer the question first Ritsu,” He smirked proudly. “Unless you want me, of course, I’m all in for some morn-”

He dodged another kick, but not the pillow that landed on his face.

* * *

Two hours later, Ritsu groaned tiredly. Sometimes he wondered why he was still working this stupid girly job.

“Ricchan, you’re really one of us now!” Kisa cheerfully inputted at his dismay, smiling innocently.

“Kisa-san, that doesn’t make sense. I’ve been working here for an entire year, of course I’m-”

He jumped at the feeling of the usual roll of paper smacking his head. He turned his eyes to glare at the object of his daily pain, hissing, “Takano-san, can you not hit me every time you get the chance to?”

“And let you two chat it up? I don’t think so.”

Ah, this man was so petty. How could he be jealous over him talking to his coworkers? The universe will never know, he sighed.

“Then, why didn’t you hit Kisa-san?”

“Because I’m perfect?”

“Because he’s gonna have a lot worst for not handing in that manuscript in time.”

“I told you that it wasn’t my fault!”

“Don’t care.”

“A demon, I’m telling you Ricchan, a _demon_!” the short man wailed, already imaging all the painful experiences he’d face at the end of the cycle.

Ritsu wholeheartedly agreed with that statement.

The next few hours were uneventful. Well, that is, until Nao walked in.

Oh, he could _feel_ the way the temperature dropped as Masamune glared at the photographer hatefully. _Oh dear_ , Ritsu sweated.

“Nao,” He smiled, “Why are you here?”

“Yo, Ritsu!” Nao answered, cheerfully ignoring the glaring editor-in-chief. “I was just stopping by to tell you An is waiting outside the office for you.”

“Why didn’t she message me or walk in herself?” He asked, sweating at the aura his boss was emitting.

“Yes, Kiyomiya,” Takano stood, “Why is that?”

Nao merely ignored him, responding, “She said it was important and that she didn’t want your ‘neighbor-san’ to-”

“That’s enough!” Ritsu exclaimed, standing up abruptly. “I’m heading out for a while, Takano-san.”

“Fine,” He reluctantly said, “Just don’t take long.”

“Yes, yes.”

Ritsu walked out, missing the way Nao smirked at Masamune.

“See ya, Saga-san.”

Silence.

“…Saga-san?” Kisa mumbled questioningly.

The sound of wood cracking broke the silence.

* * *

“Where is she?” Ritsu mumbled, looking around.

“Oh, she isn’t here,” Nao casually shrugged once they were outside of Masamune’s eavesdropping range.

“What?” Ritsu was very confused. “Then why did you say she was?”

“He’s been paranoid of me ever since we settled things, and I know for a fact that you suffer every time you see me alone.”

“Well yeah, but-”

“He’s been calm about An ever since you told him your engagement was broken off.”

Ritsu paused.

“…Fine,” He accepted the explanation with a sigh, “What do you want, anyway?”

“Well, it’s nearing our anniversary!”

Ritsu about almost had a heart attack.

“What-” He spluttered.

Nao let out a booming laugh. “I meant our friendship anniversary, you dork!”

“Oh.”

“Yes, _“oh”_ , you forgetful dummy,” Nao sighed. “I’ve been thinking, maybe we could go to that café that you said _“feels very English”_ , and then we can go to that cherry blossom viewing you’ve been crazy about.”

Ritsu recalled saying that about it at some point, and he was pretty sure that viewing was somewhere he hasn’t been to with Masamune yet.

“Nao-” he worriedly frowned.

“I told you it was okay,” the taller man abruptly spoke. “I’m getting over it slowly, it’s okay Ritsu.”

“Okay, but, wouldn’t this hurt more?”

“I want us to not let this whole I’m-in-love-with-you thing get in the way of our friendship, so it’s _okay_.”

“If you say so,” Ritsu sighed, giving up. Then, meekly, “can we-”

“Yes, we can stop by the library,” Nao laughed, flicking the shorter one’s forehead. “God, you’re _such_ a dork.”

“Oi!”

* * *

As soon as they made it home, Ritsu was pinned against the wall, practically melting against Masamune. After a few more kisses and groping, Ritsu mumbled, “Masamune, what-”

“I hate,” kiss. “How,” kiss. “Friendly,” kiss. “He is,” kiss. “With you.”

“Masamune,” he gasped, “He just wanted to talk to me, nothing happened!”

“I know.”

He felt the way the older male leaned against him, and he wrapped his arms around him to support him in response to the arms wrapping around his waist.

“It’s just that…”

Ritsu looked up when he felt a forehead touch his own, emerald green orbs meeting whiskey amber ones. “I just really hate how he’s been with you for all those ten years I wish I was there with you for.”

The twenty-seven-year-old felt his heartache at the pain laced in his lover’s voice. “Masamune, you know we weren’t like that.”

Then, almost scathingly, he added, “Not like you and Yokozawa, anyway.”

Masamune let in a sharp intake of breath. “Ritsu, I’m sorry about that, I really am.”

“I know you are,” he whispered. “It still hurts, you know, the fact that he spent all those years with you, too.”

His amber eyes lit up a little, and he pulled away slowly.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked up, seeing the honest-to-god apology in his eyes, and softly smiled as he leaned his head against his boyfriend’s chest, listening to the way his heart skip a beat at the sudden contact.

“I’m sorry, too.”

* * *

“What was that about you being sorry?” Ritsu grumbled.

He felt, more than heard, the rumble in his lover’s chest that told him he was laughing.

There was a comfortable silence until Masamune broke it. “Were you really… not like that?”

He sounded like a nervous child, and Ritsu almost giggled giddily. “Yes, you idiot; though, that’s pretty hypocritical of you, isn’t it?”

Masamune accepted the burn, knowing he deserved it. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

He thought he was done, but he wasn’t.

“Nao,” he spoke his name carefully, as though afraid he would trigger his partner, “Like Yokozawa, he’s been with me through pretty rough times. Times I haven’t even told you about, to be honest.”

Masamune denied the bitterness he felt about that. He was like that too with Yokozawa, and he knew there were some things he hadn’t told Ritsu either. Still…

“But,” Ritsu continued, “Back then, when I first met him? The first thing we did was fight.”

“Fight?” Masamune almost laughed at the idea. “You?”

‘It’s stupid, right?” he agreed. “It was a rough start, but we managed to bond after that. I told him about what had happened, and we just got better from there.”

“At some point, he and An…”

_“Ricchan, just follow me!” An pouted. Not that Ritsu could see her or anything; as soon as he entered his dorm, he’d been blindfolded by An and dragged away by her._

_“But I can’t see in order to_ “Follow you” _!” He whined. He just wanted to sleep, why was that such a hard task to earn?_

_“Oh, stop your whining,” she reprimanded. “We’re almost there.”_

_“Alright,” he sighed._

_5 minutes later, he felt the blindfold get pulled off. He opened his jade eyes slowly, and his heart just about stopped._

_“What…” he mumbled._

_An smiled, saying, “You didn’t think we would just let this pass, did you?”_

_“I-”_

_His heart clenched, and his vision blurred._

_Sitting in the middle of the brown wooden table ahead of him was a medium-sized cake that was so simple, so different from the complex and over-bearing gifts that his parents gave him simply out of duty, his eyes watered._

_Beside the table, Nao stood, holding up a ridiculously large stack of books he was pretty sure was gonna fall over. “Nao, what is this?”_

_“It’s your birthday, silly!” He smiled. His heart squeezed at the sight of his crying friend._

_“You…” Ritsu wavered, “you both planned this… for me?”_

_“Of course, Ricchan!” An quipped. “We know what it means to you to have a small silly party just between friends. It was the least we could do.”_

_He hadn’t had a heartfelt part since his last birthday with his mom. They knew this._

_“All this is for me?” He asked._

_“Duh,” Nao answered. “Now, can you_ please _take this stack from me before I drop it?”_

_Ritsu was still processing, apparently._

_Nao almost asked what was wrong, but then his eyes followed Ritsu’s to see what he was staring so intently at._

_It was just a simple framed picture they’d taken a few months ago impulsively at an amusement park, and the frame seemed to have been hand-painted and decorated._

_Ah. Nao smiled, putting down the stack, and An took that as a sign to do so as well._

_When he felt his two friends embrace him so warmly, so_ honestly _, he stopped trying to hold it in._

_He cried like a newborn._

_Nao and An had no idea how much it meant to him, for them to have planned him something so small, yet so heartfelt. They would never know how much it meant to him._

Masamune had been silent the entire story, but that stopped when he felt wet patch on his chest.

“Ritsu-”

“Back then,” he sniffled, “I wanted nothing but to forget all about you, and that train of thought never really stopped for a while. I only snapped out of it when I met you again.”

The dark-haired man blinked away any wetness he was feeling in his eyes and asked, “What are you saying, Ritsu?”

Would he get a rare confession from him?

“I’m saying that I don’t want to forget anymore. I want to learn to forgive, and you were the first to truly ever show me that.”

“Ritsu,” he mumbled.

Ritsu’s hands were on his face, and he could on only feel that. Anything else in the room like sound and temperature disappeared altogether; he was hyperaware of the small soft hands of his beloved.

“I forgive you, Masamune,” Ritsu smiled, hi beautiful gems-for-eyes shining with love for him so much love Masamune felt overwhelmed.

No, this was better than a confession. This was forgiveness for the pain he’d caused Ritsu so long ago.

“Will you forgive me, too?” he asked shyly, his cheeks flushed and his eyes still glimmering like stars.

“God, Ritsu,” Masamune gasped, “how can I not?”

He removed his hands from his face and pulled his lover forwards, embracing him lovingly. “I forgive you, Ritsu.”

Ritsu let out a watery laugh, sniffling, “God, I’m such a mess. This is your fault.”

“Then,” he smiled, “shall I make up for that?”

Their lips met passionately, swallowing any response Ritsu had to say.

This was enough for him, for both of them.


	8. Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, IT IS I! Yeaaaah…I’m not dead! With that out of the way, I, again, apologize for the late updates that I’ve warned you about.
> 
> NOTE: This Fic is an AU, Meaning it contains parts that I’ve made up for the sake of my story. With that said, enjoy the chapter! Also, this chapter is dedicated to my best friend, Duck. I hope you understand my message, Bub:3.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI. IT BELONGS TO NAKAMURA-SENSEI, NOT ME (SADLY).
> 
> WARNING: INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA.

“I already told you why I can’t go, mother!” Ritsu all but whined into the phone.

He had been peacefully doing his work, dreading Hell Week, when his mother oh-so-kindly decided to “check” on him, which, in his mother’s speak, meant that she wanted something from him that had to do with An-chan.

“What’s stopping you, Ritsu? An-chan is a fine woman, I don’t understand why you both decided to call off your engagement!” The woman snapped back.

Ritsu tried not to sigh, he really did, but it escaped him anyway. “An and I have already agreed that being married wasn’t what we wanted for our friendship. It was consensual from both ends, why are you still pushing this matter? The answer is _no_.”

Ritsu ended the call abruptly before his mother could retort any further. Once he heard the line cut, he sighed in relief, slumping against the wall of the hallway he was standing in. His mother was being difficult about this, and it wasn’t in an endearing way.

“Onodera, I told you to limit your personal calls during work hours,” His prick of a boss said, looking him over with a curious and somewhat jealous glance. This man got jealous way too easily, Ritsu sighed. It’s not like they were in a relationship or anything, so why was he pressing him?

“Sorry, it was my mother.”

If Takano noticed his bitter tone, he didn’t comment on it. He lifted his paper roll and slammed it against Ritsu’s head, making him yelp in surprise and glare at the man that caused him pain every day (In multiple ways, a traitorous voice in his head whispered).

“Just get back to work already,” Takano sighed, acting as though he was the one suffering.

Ritsu felt his irritation rise to his head. “Would you stop acting like-”

“Why do I, a good man, have to suffer at the hands of my newbie?” The taller male spoke to himself idly.

Okay, that’s it.

“Why, you-!”

Ritsu was ready to sport the entire speech he had prepared since the day he had gotten this job, but he was cut short when he felt a pair of lips meeting his in a lip-lock.

His eyes widened in surprise, his arms suddenly weak as Takano pushed harder. He felt a moan rise out of his throat, low and weak, and that’s when Takano graciously decided to pull away.

The brunette panted frantically as he caught his breath.

Takano grinned smugly, not at all sorry.

“My, what a needy man you are, Onodera.”

“YOU-”

“Now, get back to work.”

Ritsu watched as he walked away, and he didn’t really know what had struck him until his lips parted against his own conscious will.

“How can you do that in public so easily?”

His voice was quiet and weak, so honestly confused. Takano turned in surprise, examining Ritsu’s questioning gaze thoroughly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean-”

“Masamune, there you are!”

Ritsu looked up in surprise as Yokozawa walked towards them – well, Takano. What was he doing here?

“You were supposed to meet me 10 minutes ago, what are you doing in the hallway loitering with the newbie?” Yokozawa snapped gruffly, ignoring Ritsu’s indignant “Hey!”

“I was just talking to him, what’s it mean to you?” Takano coolly replied, not at all fazed by his best friend. Yokozawa seemed to glower even more than before.

“You-”

Takano totally zoned him out as he turned back to Ritsu and asked, “You were saying?”

The thought of Takano ignoring Yokozawa for him almost warmed his jaded heart. _Almost_.

“I was just leaving,” Ritsu said curtly, “It was nothing. Thank you for your time, Takano-san.”

He managed to get his stiff body to start moving as he walked past his boss, brushing his shoulder against Yokozawa’s, and kept going.

When he was out of sight, Yokozawa turned to Takano with a raised brow. “Was I interrupting something?”

Takano remained silent as he stared after Ritsu, his thoughts buzzing as they tried to decode why his small lover had sounded so confused earlier. Maybe-

“Masamune,” Yokozawa repeated, annoyed by his friend’s lack of response.

“I don’t know,” Takano finally spoke. “But I intend to find out.”

* * *

Ritsu sat stiffly in his seat, typing away on his computer. Kisa glanced curiously at him, asking, “Why are you so stiff, Ricchan? It’s not hell week yet.”

Ritsu turned to the baby-faced thirty-year-old and smiled politely at him, a smile he usually reserved for his mother’s ridiculous fancy parties. “It’s nothing.”

“If you say so, Ricchan,” he laid back lazily in his chair. “Maybe you should try to be less…stiff. Try to loosen up a bit!”

“Sure.”

Kisa knows when he’s being ignored, so he pouted childishly at him and whined, “Ricchan, you’re so mean!”

“You’re just childish, Kisa-san,” Ritsu replied without taking his eyes off his computer.

“Mino! Ricchan is being mean!”

A thud against his head startled him as he yelped, “Takano-san!”

Ritsu stiffened even more, firmly keeping his eyes on the computer. Takano, ever the observant one, took notice of that. “Onodera, try to be less repressed, it’ll do you wonders.”

Kisa’s face lit up. “That’s what it is! He’s right, you know!”

Ritsu could feel his face heat up as he stuttered, “I’m not repressed! You’re all just dirty minded!”

Takano gave him a flat look and raised a brow at him, as though he was saying “really?”

Ritsu looked away and grumbled, going back to his work.

Masamune sat down in his seat and checked the manuscripts laid out in front of him as he idly wondered about what was bothering his favorite subordinate. He couldn’t be repressed, Masamune made sure of that not happening.

He firmly blocked out the images that flashed in his head. Nope. He was not getting a boner in public.

If it wasn’t that, what was it?

_“How can you do that in public so easily?”_

What did he mean by that? He thought deeper, unaware of his pen pressing against his cheek until Hatori said, “Takano-san, your pen marked your face.”

“It’s just a dot,” he shrugged. He glanced at Ritsu and saw him sneaking glances at his – apparently – marked cheek, and then watched as his eyes trailed down to his lips. Could he-

His lips stretched into a proud grin, bringing attention to Ritsu. His face immediately reddened as he looked away and started typing mindlessly.

Was Ritsu thinking about their kiss in the hallway?

Wait. Was that what he was asking about? How he kissed Ritsu so easily in public?

What a stupid thing to ask about, he thought as he smiled nonetheless.

He would have to ask Ritsu anyway.

* * *

Ritsu hastily stuffed his belongings into his work bag. he wanted to get out as soon as possible to avoid his demon-boss’s claws.

He was almost there, and then he felt a hand pull at the collar of his coat. He heard a sigh of annoyance, and then, “You idiot, why are you like this?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now, if you excuse me, I have to-”

“Have dinner at my place,” his boss suggested smoothly, though his firm grip made it clear he wasn’t asking.

“You know, I’m really tired, I should just go home so I can-”

“You can do that at my place, too.”

“Takano-san, _no_.”

“Too bad, I wasn’t asking.”

Ritsu really tried to escape, but his grip stayed there until they reached their apartments. Why, oh why, did his boss have to be his neighbor?

The green-eyed man reluctantly went inside and took off his shoes, Takano moving to do the same. Ritsu moved to get inside, and then-

“What was that back there?”

Ritsu froze. ‘I don’t know what you’re-”

“I saw you freeze, Onodera. You’ve been avoiding me all day, too,” Takano spoke easily, as though he didn’t just take down his mental defenses.

“I always avoid you, how’s today any different?”

“Ah, so you finally admit it.”

He snapped his mouth shut, cursing himself silently. He slipped up, _again_.

“Whatever,” Ritsu huffed. “It was nothing, I told you.”

“In Ritsu-speak, nothing tends to mean the exact opposite of what it usually means. So, speak up.”

Ritsu kept his back to Takano, resisting the urge to turn around and admire his beautiful amber orbs.

“I’m hungry,” Ritsu digressed. “Let’s eat.”

Takano sighed. He can’t get Ritsu to talk now, but his chance would come.

He’s heard from many people that he’s pretty insistent, so this wasn’t a challenge-

Is what he wanted to say, but, now, two hours later, with Ritsu sitting beside him on the couch stiffly, he was still having no luck. He was pretty much tuning out whatever was playing on the TV, while Ritsu was hyper-aware of every little thing, judging by the way he jumped at every sound.

He opened his mouth to demand an explanation, but Ritsu’s phone screen suddenly lit up and started ringing. He watched as Ritsu sighed, gave him an apologetic glance, and picked up the phone once he was in another room.

Now, Takano was a pretty respectful person, but he also cared about his lover, so he saw no problem in eavesdropping into Ritsu’s conversation (is what he says to himself, anyway).

“Mother, didn’t you already-”

“I know, but listen to me for a-”

“Mother-”

Wow, that seemed to be a pretty one-sided conversation, Takano bitterly thought as he observed his lover; it struck a chord with him, as it reminded him of his phone calls with his mother back in the days he actually talked to her. His shoulders were slumped, and his expression was that of a very tired man.

“Would you just listen to me for one minute of your life?!”

Takano looked up in surprise. Even if Ritsu snapped at him all the time, he knew that he only ever did that when he was at an edge (which was always when he was around Takano) and just wanted to end whatever was going on.

“You keep pushing the issue, and I keep telling you the same thing: I. Don’t. Love. An. Get that into your thick skull and stop pressing this damn issue!”

Ritsu ended the call swiftly, dropping his phone onto the nearest surface – a coffee table – and slid down the wall. Takano couldn’t stand still and watch anymore. He straightened himself and opened the door fully, watching as Ritsu looked at him with his big green eyes in defeat, and something else he couldn’t get his finger on. Sadness? Nostalgia?

“Were you eavesdropping, Takano-san?”

“I like to call it resourceful listening.”

Ritsu sighed, putting his face in his hands. They stayed in silence for a while, and Takano was prepared to ask questions, but Ritsu, for once, beat him to it.

“Mother won’t stop pressing the issue about An-chan. We both agreed to break off the engagement, but she just won’t think about me in all of this. All she’s thinking about is the Onodera heritage and how she wants to meet her grandchildren. Why can’t she understand that I don’t want that?”

Takano’s heart broke at the sad and desperate voice of his beloved. He sounded so tired, so hurt, and the older man wanted nothing more than to gather him in his arms and comfort him, but he wasn’t sure if Ritsu wanted that.

Ritsu looked up to meet his eyes, and Takano’s breath stopped. His emerald green eyes gazed at him in a lost a haze, and then he looked away as he spoke softly, “I asked you that question because I was jealous.”

His eyes widened in surprise, and Ritsu let out a bitter laugh. “It’s stupid. As the heir to such an important company, I’m supposed to carry on the family name, I’m supposed to shut up and just do as everyone tells me to do. I can’t do what I want, and I can never get it.”

His heart broke at the confession. How had he not realized how hard that lifestyle had been for him? There have been many signs, but he had always assumed that, aside from the marriage thing, that Ritsu’s life was perfect.

He felt guilt creep into him. He’s supposed to be someone Ritsu could trust and love wholeheartedly, yet he just pushed him and made assumptions about him. How could he-

“It’s not your fault,” Ritsu said softly, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Takano felt his breath escape him. This beautiful man that he’s wronged so many times was now looking at him as though he was perfect in his eyes.

“Because of my upbringing, I’ve always been uncomfortable with publically showing or discussing my sexuality. Imagine the backlash I would get,” he laughed emptily. “The son of an important and rich company ruining the bloodline, all because he couldn’t just be normal and prefer girls over boys; all because he couldn’t have been normal, because he was a _freak_.”

Takano felt his heart beating in his chest rapidly, and his fists were clenched tightly. How could Ritsu say those things about himself?

“You _idiot_ ,” Takano whispered, emotion thick in his voice. Ritsu looked at him in surprise, his tears stopping at the sudden interruption. His eyes searched Takano’s as the man continued, “How can you say those things about yourself? Those things you’re feeling, your sexuality…”

Takano knelt on one of his knees and pulled Ritsu’s face closer to his. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life, Ritsu, and not even you are allowed to insult yourself. What you are at your nature,” Takano swallowed his emotions back down as he placed his hand on Ritsu’s chest, right above his beating heart, “is what makes you so loveable, Ritsu, and I love every little thing about you. People can say what they want about you, but know that, no matter what, whoever it is saying those things, they’re wrong.”

Tears started falling down Ritsu’s face again, and Takano can swear he hears quiet sobs coming from his love. He felt an anger rise in him. What kind of shitty parents raised their child in such a toxic depreciating way?

He made sure Ritsu was looking at him, _really_ looking at him, and spoke firmly, so sure of himself.

“There’s _nothing_ wrong with you.”

Apparently, his speech was too good, as Ritsu immediately shoved his face into Takano’s – no, Masamune’s – chest and started sobbing uncontrollably.

He moved his hands and wrapped them around his beloved’s shoulders, pulling him closer, quietly murmuring the things his parents _should’ve_ made him believe. The things he should’ve loved about himself since the day he was born into this world.

“You’re far from a freak, Ritsu,” Takano whispered soothingly, running his hands through the shorter male’s hair. “I’ll keep saying it until you believe it with all your heart.”

Ritsu hiccupped, laughing, “You’re ridiculous. How can you put up with me?”

Takano smiled; it was a smile so different from the one he usually gave others, a smile reserved just for Ritsu. “I wonder that, too, sometimes. And then-”

“-I remind myself that I’m lucky enough to have fallen in love with someone so perfect, so _beautiful_ , and that person just so happens to be too stubborn to say that they agree.”

“About what?”

“About themselves,” he said slowly, moving Ritsu’s hand to his own chest, to his heart. “And about me.”

Ritsu laughed again, and it just might be Takano’s new favorite melody. “You’re too cocky. How could I have let myself fall in love with someone like that?”

“Hey, I’m not you, you tell me.”

“Like hell I am.”

Takano laughed, his laugh so deep Ritsu felt his chest moving to its vibrations. His hands trembled as he felt the elation he’d felt so long ago in that library. The feeling of so much love, his heart could explode.

“You’re an idiot, but that’s okay,” Ritsu whispered, unaware he was even talking until Takano smiled down at him.

“Yeah?” the man teased.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I don’t fall in love with just anyone, you know.”

Takano’s heart sped up, and Ritsu was so happy Takano trusted him with something so important, so fragile. He would never let it go, and he was sure Takano (Masamune, a voice whispered) would agree with him.

He was okay. With Masamune with him, he was sure.

They were different, but that was okay.

Different is good.


	9. Ocean Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehehe… um…. Heya! 
> 
> As much as I would love to say that I have an excuse… I don’t. I was lazy, and I was out of ideas. I’m so sorry you guys had to endure such a long wait. I’ll try to update more frequently than, you know, once every 3 months.
> 
> On an amazing side note: This story officially hit the 4K point! THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! It means so much to me that y’all enjoy my work, and I’ll keep pushing to bring you updates!
> 
> That being said, enjoy the ride!

Takano Masamune was not one to obsess over _anything_.

Really, he wasn't.

But Ritsu seemed to have a talent for making the impossible possible (really, it's no wonder he fell so hard), and making the great Takano Masamune obsess over something was one such miracle.

It had been such a small thing. A stupid throwaway line that Ritsu had said as he was distracted by a nature documentary on jellyfish.

_"I wish I could see them in person."_

Ritsu didn't seem to realize what he'd said, too focused on the screen. His eyes were glowing with that beautiful shimmer that Masamune swore could blind him.

"You've never been to an aquarium?"

Ritsu turned his gems for eyes from the screen to his lover, his face a lovely hue of red. Embarrassment, perhaps?

"N-No. My family wasn't one for fun outings," Ritsu confessed painfully, and Masamune suddenly wanted to choke someone.

It was hard to get Ritsu to tell him what was wrong, but, after some time, he slowly started opening up to him. He told him little stories, small moments, and never in too much detail.

For once, he was glad. He couldn't stand seeing Ritsu sobbing openly in front of him. Ritsu had never cried in front of him, and when he did… Masamune heard his heart crack.

"Ritsu," Masamune started quietly.

Ritsu, his beautiful, strong, Ritsu, only smiled in response. Not wanting his lover to say anymore, he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Masamune's lips.

And, really, how could Masamune possibly think like that?

* * *

Despite Ritsu's attempt at a distraction, the thought remained with Masamune, appearing in his dreams at any given chance.

Usually, he dreamed of shining emeralds and bubbly laughter. He dreamed of a warmth in his hand and a touch on his lips, soft and delicate.

And every morning, Masamune woke up to his sleeping boyfriend, face relaxed and hair looking fluffier than ever.

This time, he dreams of stars within the darkness of the ocean. He feels the sand between his toes and the coolness of the water on his skin.

Then, a hand intertwines with his, and laughter sounds in his ears. When he turns, he sees Ritsu shine among the sea snow, the glowing algae giving him an unbelievably magical look.

He dreams of oceans and finding a treasure of emeralds.

When Masamune woke up, he was alone. He glanced around and felt for his lover, finding his side of the bed warm.

He sat up with a yawn and remembered his dream.

"Finally awake?"

Masamune turned his eyes to the voice, and couldn't resist smiling at the sight of Ritsu in one of his adorably large hoodies.

"What's this, my subordinate waking up before me? You insult me, Onodera."

Ah, yes. There was the usual "I really want to punch you" expression that greeted him at work.

"Whatever, _Takano-san_ ," Ritsu grumbled. "Get up, there's an hour left."

Masamune smiled at the spite in Ritsu's voice. One thing that would never change is Ritsu's never-ending annoyance with him.

"Not even a morning kiss for your boyfriend?" Masamune pouted falsely.

Ritsu sputtered out what sounded like very unflattering language, and turned to leave the room.

"Good morning to you too!" Masamune called to spite him some more.

When he received no response, he sighed. Ritsu was so mean, really.

And here he was, planning a surprise date for him.

Speaking of...

He already had a place in mind, a recently new aquarium that's known for its beautiful jellyfish display. He specifically picked it for that reason.

Masamune could honestly say that he wasn't really interested in aquariums. He'd been to one with his parents before things went to shit, and he had found it relatively mediocre.

This was different, though.

This wasn't about him. This was about Ritsu and making Ritsu happy.

If Masamune could give Ritsu a happy memory to override anything negative in his life, he'd take him on a million dates.

"Masamune, hurry up!"

Really, the things he did for love.

* * *

Ritsu let out a relieved sigh as soon as he entered their shared apartment. He didn’t have to look back to know that Masamune was locking the door. As much as he hated to say it, Masamune would always be the more responsible one between them.

Not that he’d ever say that to his face.

Ritsu barely made it past the living room when a hand grabbed his waist and twirled him dramatically into a warm chest.

His face exploded in red. “W-What do you think you’re doing, Masamune?”

Masamune grinned innocently at him. “I never got my morning kiss.”

“Seriously? Would it kill you to grow up a little?” Ritsu grumbled.

Still, he made no move to get out of his lover’s arms, nor did he stop the hand guiding him into a kiss. Their lips met in a passionate dance, neither one pulling away until the need for oxygen overwhelmed them.

Ritsu panted as his hands gripped Masamune’s shirt, leaning his head against the wide chest embracing him lovingly.

He didn’t need to look up to see the soft expression on his boyfriend’s face, nor did Masamune need to look down to see his face was a blushing mess.

But they did anyway.

Amber eyes locked on jade green eyes. As they stared into each other's eyes, Ritsu found that he couldn’t stand the distance between them and pulled the taller man into another kiss.

Masamune let out a surprised noise, and then he closed his eyes and tightened his grip on Ritsu’s waist.

Surprisingly, Masamune pulled away first.

“As much as I would love to kiss you all day, we have other plans,” He grinned.

He let his eyes shamelessly ogle Ritsu as he added, “Do please keep that on the agenda though.”

Ritsu slapped the back of his head. “Pervert.”

“Only for you, babe,” He winked.

“Utterly shameless!” Ritsu sighed. “Why am I dating you again?”

“My dashing good looks and charming personality?”

“Yeah, right. Now, what was that about a plan?”

Masamune pulled away completely, dropping his work bag. “We’re going out.”

“To where?”

“You’ll have to find out later. Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

Ritsu wasn’t really paying attention to where they were headed, more focused on the excited smile on Masamune’s lips. Ritsu’s own lips twitched into a smile in response. This man’s happiness was infectious, and Ritsu found himself not wanting a cure for it anymore.

He glanced back at the road when he noticed they were stopping. The area wasn’t familiar, so it was probably some new place Masamune wanted to try out with him.

The passenger door opened, and the first thing he saw was Masamune holding out a hand for him.

“Ladies first,” He grinned.

Ah, right. He forgot how infuriating his boyfriend was.

“You bastard-”

“I was joking, Ritsu,” Masamune sighed. “Learn to take a joke.”

“Calling me a lady is _not_ funny.”

Ever the walking contradiction, Ritsu took his hand anyway.

Masamune gazed at their linked hands for a minute. Ritsu’s hands were so small compared to Masamune’s, he feared he would break them.

“Masamune, where is this exactly?” Ritsu asked, his eyes curious.

The taller man simply pointed at the glaringly obvious neon sign. “See for yourself, dumbass.”

Ritsu turned to look in the pointed direction, and his heart almost jumped out of his heart.

A giant neon bug-eyed whale stared back at Ritsu.

His heart racing, Ritsu looked to his companion. “You… You remembered?”

“Of course I did, dumbass,” Masamune smiled softly. “How could I forget anything when it comes to you?”

God, he loved this man so much.

His face red, Ritsu tugged at their joined hands.

“Are you gonna lead me in or what?”

Masamune didn’t need to answer that. He tightened his grip on his lover’s small hand and led the way into the aquarium.

* * *

The two men stood out amongst the crowd of families and children, but they paid the stares no heed as they walked on, both their hearts racing.

Masamune glanced at Ritsu, and his face softened. Ritsu’s eyes were wide with awe, looking all around them at the many displays. He looked so impossibly soft, Masamune wanted to gather him in his arms and never let him go.

“Masamune! They have penguins!"

And that's how they spent the next hour: Ritsu eagerly dragging Masamune wherever there was a display, and Masamune always following with a soft smile.

Because as much as he hated being dragged around, the sight of Ritsu smiling and laughing so freely was much stronger than his annoyance.

The amount of love he held for this man was impossible, but then again, Ritsu had always been good at proving him wrong.

Masamune glanced down when he felt another tug at his hand.

Ritsu was glancing at him with a small frown on his face. "Are you… Not enjoying yourself?"

Masamune's heart stopped. "No, No! I am!"

"Then why…"

Masamune took Ritsu's face into his hands and looked him in the eye. "You aren't a nuisance Ritsu. I brought you here because I wanted you to have a good time. Tonight is about you, not me."

Predictably, Ritsu's face flushed. Masamune could feel his heart speeding up through their linked hands.

"I… thank you, Masamune, but I want you to have a good time too!"

Masamune blinked in surprise. Slowly, he felt a smile grow on his lips. Onodera Ritsu really was something, thinking of others even when the day was dedicated to him alone.

What a man he's fallen for.

"Ritsu," he whispered.

Ritsu parted his lips to respond but stopped when he caught sight of what was behind Masamune.

"Masamune," Ritsu breathed.

He glanced behind him to see what caught Ritsu's breath and paused.

Of course. It was the very reason he had taken Ritsu to this place.

In front of them was a large tank filled with jellyfish.

In the darkness of the room, the jellyfish glowed a brilliant assortment of colors, with the algae creating the illusion of stars.

It was like looking into a whole new galaxy.

Masamune glanced at Ritsu's awed expression and admired the way his beautiful jade green eyes reflected something far more beautiful than the jellyfish.

Masamune's heart was ensnared, has been for 11 years now.

And when Ritsu turned to him, the blue of the tank reflecting on his skin, in his eyes, Masamune swore that he would never let this feeling go.

Ritsu reached out his hands and held his face softly.

"I love you, Masamune," he whispered.

And as Masamune whispered his own answer, there was only the Jellyfish to witness their love.


	10. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> While typing up Ocean Blues, I took quite a while at the dream part, mainly because I wanted to expand on it but couldn’t cuz I had to stay on topic. SO, I’ve decided to make a chapter dedicated to dreams!
> 
> It’s a win-win situation! I get to finally get this daydream off my chest, and you guys get another chapter! You especially deserve it after making you wait for months on end.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI!
> 
> there is an entire section dedicated to Masamune's internal struggle with having divorced parents, so if that triggers you, avoid the first segment (after the intro).

Dreams are a strange thing.

They’re a strange thing, but they can be explained so easily. They’re just images your subconscious pulls from your last thought or moment of conscious, right?

They aren’t as deep as they seem, people might say. They can easily be waved away as illusions, they’re “just a dream”.

But that’s where Takano Masamune greatly disagrees. They might be illusions, visions of the subconscious, but Masamune believes there’s more to them.

They’re so much more than illusions, just like the brain is more than a thinking organ. The brain pulls all your thoughts in, your hopes, your fears, your memories, and when you dream, they’re churned back out.

Dreams are the embodiment of your hope, and while that is a beautiful phenomenon, Masamune can’t help but hate them. Both his hopes and his dreams.

His life hasn’t been easy. There have been many times in his life when Masamune just wanted to disappear, to stop existing in this web of torture that he was stuck in. Whenever he went to sleep, Masamune sought relief for his pain, a dreamless sleep.

But he never got when he wanted.

He never got to have normal loving parents, and he never got to have Oda.

His dreams weren’t a relief. They took his hopes and threw them back in his face every night in the form a happy plastic illusion, and when he reached out to grab that illusion, it crumbled into dust.

A painful reminder of what he could never have.

And although Masamune was in a better place now, his past has always continued to haunt him.

He will always remember the nights he spent crying in his pillow, trying to silence the sounds of his parents’ shouting. The nights he spent trying to banish the memory of vivid jade green eyes and shy giggles.

He will never, ever forget those nights.

Masamune was well into his adult life, yet he can’t help but look back at himself and think of all the times he wished and prayed for dreamless sleep.

Because his dreams might have hurt him more than being awake did.

* * *

**WARNING**

Ever since he was a kid, Masamune had dreamed of a normal family. A happy one.

Every day, he’d watch his fellow classmates run to their mothers’ loving arms, held their hands, and walked home.

His parents never picked him up from school. They were always “too busy”. They taught him how to walk to his pre-school, and then they taught him the way back.

That was the only day they walked him to school.

On mothers’ and fathers’ day, Masamune was the only one that was seen doing nothing. He didn’t make a card for his parents, and he never answered when his teachers questioned him.

Even his teachers had nice parents.

He went home every day, never once uttering “I’m home”. He knew there would be no answer.

And after a long day, he cried himself to sleep while praying for a miracle.

Of course, Masamune’s prayers were never answered. He always dreamed when he slept, and his dreams hurt him more than he’d like to admit.

One dream, in particular, stuck with him. It was nothing special, but he still remembers every single moment in it. Not because it was happy, but because he’d woken up crying for the first time in his life.

It was a lovely image: a green open meadow of colorful flowers, rich green trees, and a soft spring breeze. He remembers blinking at his surroundings, not quite knowing what was happening.

He turned his eyes from the meadow to a large tree sitting in the center of it all. And under its shade, two figures he knows all too well, laughing and giggling helplessly as they talked and whispered.

Masamune was frozen for a moment, not quite believing what he was seeing. He stared at the happy laughing duo and tried to see if he was just confused, but the figures always looked the same. The same dark hair and the same voices that he heard shouting at night, except softer and happier.

In every occurrence of this recurring dream, the pair turned and looked at him with such raw, honest love. They called him over, sat him between their warm bodies, and showered his face with kisses and fleeting whispers of the words he’d wished he could hear from them all his life.

He doesn’t remember what happens after that, but he could remember waking up with tears on his face, not stopping even as he stared blankly at the ceiling of his bedroom.

And without his knowing, he sobbed. He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until he fell back asleep.

There were days when his dreams would take a sharp turn into darker areas. That was when he dreamed of shouting, and then the deafening sound of glass breaking as the floor gave out under him and dropped him into a black abyss.

The next day, his parents gave him the news of their divorce.

For a kid, he took it calmly. Too calmly. But he knew it was coming.

His family had broken a long time ago. There was no saving his family, not anymore.

**WARNING OVER**

* * *

After that, the hole in his heart only grew larger and larger. He’d become jaded, blank and numb to the world around him.

He got into high school and made sure to pass all his classes. He had nothing left, all he could hold onto was building some semblance of a future for himself.

At least, that’s what he thought.

He’d recently starting noticing that there was a freshman stalking him. It wasn’t anything concerning, it’s not like the kid followed him home, but he borrowed every book Masamune’s read, and he always felt someone burning holes into the back of his head.

He’d ignored it because it was nothing. It was probably just some girl that was too scared to confess to him.

It didn’t matter. He’d end up scaring her away anyway. No matter how many times they said they liked him, they still left him behind.

But this one was different.

This one was a boy, a beautiful boy with the most vivid green eyes that he’s ever seen. They were so big, so hopeful. So naïve and full of innocence.

He wanted to crush that innocence.

Seeing someone so happy and innocent, someone so naïve to the horrors of the world, angered him. It put his horrid soul in the spotlight and made him look even worse than he actually was.

It made him hate himself more than he already did.

So he went along with the kid’s request. He agreed to date him, even if the kid had accidentally blurted out his confession in a blushing panic.

Masamune imagined many outcomes to this situation. He imagined Oda Ritsu would grow out of his crush and move on from him, or that he would see what a horrible person Masamune was.

But none of that happened.

Against all odds, Oda Ritsu made him fall in love. And in an explosion of color, his life suddenly wasn’t so bleak anymore.

Masamune started looking forward to school. He started talking more and smiled more and more often. He still went to the library every day, but now the only difference was that he was always greeted with a soft smile and an excited call of “Saga-senpai!”

He felt happy.

Their dates were always a spur-of-the-moment question, immediately followed by his kouhai blushing an adorable red as he tried to stutter out a response.

How could someone be so in love with someone as dirty as him?

Those few months they’d spent together were so happy. Could Masamune really have such happiness in his life? Did he really deserve it?

In the end, they were just fleeting moments. And in the end, it all fell apart. Again.

The last he saw of his first love was his face as he sobbed, but he didn’t have the time to apologize before Ritsu kicked him and ran out the door.

He remembered staring in shock at the spot Ritsu had occupied, his brain unable to register what had happened.

Did… Did Ritsu just break up with him?

The next day, he desperately tried to look for Ritsu and apologize to him. He searched every inch of the school, but he never found him. Ritsu was gone.

And just like that, his happiness was gone.

That break-up destroyed him. He spent days upon days overthinking the reasons why Ritsu decided to suddenly break up with him, but he always circled back to the same thing.

Masamune was the problem.

Ritsu had finally seen him for the mess that he was and decided that he didn’t want to put up with him anymore.

And so, he was back to hating his very existence.

He spent the years after that on autopilot. He can honestly say that he doesn’t remember a single thing from his college years except for Yokozawa Takafumi’s support.

He’d made a friend. He was supposed to feel happy now, right?

Yet whenever he went to sleep, he was restless. His dreams were plagued by beautiful painful green. He dreamt of vast grass fields, of storming green seas, of mountains of green emeralds that he could never reach no matter how far he reached out.

His ears always rang with stuttered confessions and nervous giggling. His dreams went through his memories of Ritsu like a tornado that never stopped spinning and destroyed everything in its path.

Sometimes, he dreamed of reuniting with his first love. Sometimes, he ended up living a long happy life with Ritsu in those dreams, and sometimes, he watched as their relationship fell apart over and over again.

And every night, he’d wake up with his hand reached above his head, a silent cry of “come back!” stuck at the lump of his throat.

Takafumi had watched him suffer through this brutal cycle for so long, and, in the end, he was the one that pulled the plug on it and told him to move on.

* * *

Masamune tried, he really did.

He graduated high school and college, he got a degree, he got a job, and then he kept working until he was promoted to Editor-in-Chief of Murakawa’s shoujo manga Emerald Department.

Still, every now and then he caught himself dreaming of bright greens, just like when he’d discovered the name of his department was Emerald. The irony taunted him.

And after 10 years, after he’d fooled himself into believing he was healed, after shoving his personality through multiple blenders, after believing for 28 years that he would never achieve his dreams…

He saw Ritsu again.

It wasn’t the same as his many dreams, but it was still _reuniting with Ritsu_.

He didn’t get Oda Ritsu, the naïve happy-go-lucky kid he’d met when he was a high schooler. What he got was Onodera Ritsu, an irate workaholic with a jaded personality.

Yet he was still _Ritsu_. Masamune’s first love, with the same shining green eyes and a heart so big, it was fragile at the same time. Ritsu, with all his loveable qualities that Masamune had never stopped loving despite those painful 10 years.

His Ritsu was back, and that was when light finally peaked through the bleak windows of his soul.

Maybe this time, he could keep this happiness in his hands.

So, Masamune spent a year trying to get Ritsu to confess his very obvious feelings for him. No matter how much Ritsu tried to hide his feelings from him, Masamune always saw through his actions.

And despite Ritsu never confessing, Masamune knew that Ritsu was still in love with him, too, and every time Ritsu did something to show him his love, Masamune felt his heart could burst from happiness and melt from the warmth this wonderful man has granted him.

His dreams finally came true.

* * *

Takano Masamune awoke to the sound of clanking and cursing from the kitchen. He blinked his sleep-bleary eyes open and took in his surroundings.

He moved an arm to pat at the right side of the queen-sized, feeling a smile grow when he felt the rumpled sheets and the lingering warmth there.

Ritsu was here.

With a yawn, he sat up and stretched his sore arms. Who knew cuddling could result in sore arms in the first place? (He would do it over and over again if it meat feeling Ritsu’s body lying on his, cuddling into his sides with and nuzzling into his chest).

As he went through his regular morning routine, he vaguely thought of what kind of mess Ritsu was making in the kitchen. The thought had him chuckling to himself.

Because as much as Ritsu wanted to say otherwise, he was a total clutz, and that did not help his already horrible cooking skills. Still, Ritsu always tried to make him meals, and even if they mostly ended up burned messes, Masamune always appreciated his lover’s efforts and always felt his heart swell tremendously.

Ritsu had turned him into a sap, and he couldn’t bring himself to regret that.

With a loud tiger yawn, Masamune trudged into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Ritsu.”

Ritsu almost jumped out of his skin, causing him to accidentally nick himself with the knife he was using.

“Good mor- shit!”

Inevitably, Masamune smiled. “Making another mess in my kitchen, are we?”

Ritsu turned to give him an annoyed glare, but there was no real heat behind, and Masamune could see his growing blush of embarrassment.

“No, I wasn’t making a mess in _our_ kitchen.”

The correction was so small, so meager and simple, yet it warmed Masamune’s heart to concerning levels.

“Clearly,” Masamune grinned, looking pointedly at the bleeding cut on Ritsu’s thumb.

“I-It’s nothing!” Ritsu said, hiding his thumb from sight.

Masamune released an annoyed sigh and walked towards his smaller lover.

Ritsu almost thought Masamune was going to make a move on him. Not that he minded, he thought quietly.

To his surprise, Masamune grabbed his injured thumb and sucked on the cut. Ritsu felt a hot blush creep into his face.

“You-You can’t just do that!” Ritsu spluttered.

He opened his mouth to protest some more, but Masamune placing soft kisses all over his hands made him pause. This simple act of love, so soft and caring, had his blush intensifying. Masamune was so embarrassing, honestly.

Still, he didn’t pull away his hand.

Masamune pulled his lips away from his hand, and Ritsu withheld a disappointed sigh.

“Take care of these hands,” Masamune spoke softly as he placed a kiss on the back of his hand. “I need them.”

Ritsu’s heart sped up like it was running a marathon. Masamune said lovey-dovey things so easily, yet he always freaked out over every little thing the man did. He tried to protest but found that he couldn’t move his lips with Masamune’s laying on them.

Making a sound of surprise, Ritsu froze for a moment. Then, he parted his lips to return the kiss. It was slow and languid, but loving nonetheless.

These were the kinds of kisses Ritsu loved most. Although he liked their hot and rushed pre-sex kisses (not that he would ever tell that to Masamune), Ritsu found that he loved the softer kisses more. They were more fleeting and barely lasted a few seconds sometimes, but they also represented a softer, more doting love that Ritsu wanted to drown in.

Pulling away, the two men panted as they caught their breath.

Masamune moved closer, wrapping his arms around Ritsu’s waist. He leaned his forehead against his lover’s softly, and heaved a quiet sigh.

“I love you.”

Strong amber eyes stared into soft green eyes. Ritsu’s blush returned tenfold, but he managed to softly reply, “I love you, too.”

Those words did things to Masamune’s heart that he couldn’t explain, even if he used every word known to man.

This love was so precious, Masamune never wanted it to slip from his fingers ever again.

Masamune moved his lips to Ritsu’s blushing ears, mouthing them teasingly. He whispered, “After all, how else will you give a hand job?”

Masamune pulled away in time to avoid Ritsu’s outraged shove. “You pervert!”

The older man let out a loud laugh. “Only for you, babe!”

Ritsu resisted the urge to punch his boyfriend. “I was considering doing that, but I guess now you won’t get it.”

As intended, Masamune’s lips twitched into a frown. “Oi, you can’t do that!”

Ritsu stuck out his tongue at him. “I can and I did. Now go sit down, you big pervert.”

With a grin, Masamune said, “I’m gonna make you regret that later, just so you know.”

“Don’t I know that?” Ritsu sighed. He knew what Masamune would do, and, although he would complain about it tomorrow morning, it sent a shiver down his spine.

He almost jumped when Masamune’s arms wrapped around his waist again. He waited for Masamune to say something, but he never did.

Ritsu continued working to the best of his ability and ignored the warmth in his belly and heart. Masamune’s arms always encased him protectively every day and night, and although they were hindering his movement now, Ritsu made no move to remove them, and neither did Masamune.

They spent the day as they usually did. When night comes, Masamune would wrap him in his arms again and hold him against his chest, whispering little nothings into his ear as they both fell asleep.

And this time, when Masamune dreamed, he didn’t feel pain.


	11. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I… have no excuses. I'm sorry. Lmao if it weren't for kill la kill I wouldn't be writing this. Friendly advice: LISTEN TO THE OSTS CUZ THEY'RE GORGEOUS! *cough* anyway, enjoy!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I WISH.
> 
> WARNING: Self-hate and depression. No abuse this chapter, but Ritsu's dad is still scum, so beware, just in case.

All his life, Onodera Ritsu knew his path. He knew what his duty was: to be the best son his father wanted. To marry An-chan, inherit his father's company, have children, and then pass on this cursed legacy. He knew that. He knew that… but he didn't want it. But he wasn't in control of his own life, his father was.

 _Pathetic_.

He might've had a different plan when he was a young boy cuddled into his mother's warm chest, but those times were gone. A memory covered in dust. He could not recall a single happy memory after her death, all he could remember is the bite of cold empty air of his bedroom and the nights spent crying himself to sleep, begging his mother to come back.

He no longer cries himself to sleep. The world has become numb to him, not a single shred of emotion left inside him. He doesn't want to feel anymore.

Feelings made him fall in love with Saga-senpai. Feelings made him flinch at the sound of his father's booming voice. Feelings made him cry at the mention of his mother. Feelings destroyed him.

Ritsu didn't want to feel anymore.

* * *

When Ritsu thinks of his mother, he remembers all the good things that used to be.

He would remember the way she laughed, the way her smile lit up her entire face and erased any wariness. The way she opened her arms and embraced him with all her being, warming him to the core. Never pulling away first.

Ritsu tries to hang onto every bit left of his mother, He grasps desperately at his remaining memories of her, and prays that they never leave him. He replays them over and over again until they're burned into his head.

His mother represented a time of happiness. A happiness that could not last.

He remembers watching with devastated eyes as his mother was lowered into her grave. His eyes watered again, and then he was sobbing. He wanted to hug his momma again. He wanted to hear her melodic laugh and hold her hand no matter how childish it was.

He felt so cold, here in this empty clearing, hugging himself desperately for a semblance of warmth.

He sniffled, trying to hold in the tears. His knees wobbled weakly, falling under him. Now on his knees, his tears flowed and ugly sobs escaped him. Uncontrollable.

He wished Alice was here. Why didn't father let her come? How much more was he going to take from him?

How long will he remain so _pathetic_?

"Ritsu," a cold voice spoke.

His mother used to say his name with a fond smile, never once frowning at him. She said it when she laughed, when she was happy. It made warmth spread in his belly.

The way his father said his name killed that warmth. When his father said his name, it was synonymous with disappointment and anger. He was no more than the ground his father stepped on.

Ritsu kept his head down and refused to look up.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy."

"I don't want to," he finally said, his voice hitching with the hiccups of his sobbing.

"I'll let this pass by me today," his father said gruffly. "This is the last time I will see you cry, Ritsu. Don't let me catch you again."

And then he walked away, leaving Ritsu behind to the cold bite of winter's breath.

Ah, this pain was so familiar, it was routine. Why does he keep getting hurt by his father's words? He knows how it goes. Yet, why…

He took a shaky breath and watched the world with dead eyes.

* * *

Really, how did he get here? How had a simple favor from a stranger turn into this obsession?

Ritsu watched with a growing blush as Saga-senpai slept peacefully. He really was turning into a stalker.

Still, he couldn't help it.

Ritsu had honestly been feeling lifeless these past few years, but something about Saga-senpai made his wary heart beat rapidly.

Maybe it wasn't that bad. It's not like he had a chance with Senpai, he would surely get over this crush someday, in time for him to fulfill his duties as the Onodera heir. Maybe-

"I love you."

And it all snowballed from there.

He was so happy back then. Senpai had agreed to date him! He was over the moon, despite the looming dread that his father would one day find out. He was so over the moon, he could _ignore_ that fear.

The rush of excitement he felt when he'd had lunch with Saga-senpai. The joy of witnessing Senpai's smiles, so fragile and small. The peace of simply enjoying the moment and forgetting about the future.

The pure, simple, _joy_ he'd felt because of Senpai, Senpai, _Senpai_.

He felt his heart warming, and his dreams were reborn.

Maybe happiness was possible. If he had Senpai with him, maybe this happiness could last.

_Not._

The day he broke up with Saga-senpai was a blank. He remembers Senpai's laugh echoing in his ears, mocking him, blending like a nightmare into what sounded vaguely like his father's harsh, biting laughter.

_Pathetic._

Senpai… Senpai didn't love him back.

He ran all the way home, and, for the first time in years, he sobbed.

* * *

That day, Ritsu learned exactly why he should've kept his heart shut. Feelings bore the wool of a sheep, but hid a wolf beneath it, sharpening its claws. Ready to slice whatever joy he had left.

And this time, he remembered his lesson.

He moved to England. He was fluent in English, and his grades were high. Adapting wasn't a problem.

He lived in a dorm with a stranger, but anywhere was better than the overbearing cold of home. His roommate was Japanese, at least.

He got by in college. He did his homework and studied rigorously, desperate to keep himself awake.

Because all his dreams offered him was a cruel reminder of his biggest mistake.

He knew people called him "the Ghost" behind his back. He supposed it wasn't far off the mark. He'd shut in his heart and locked the doors; he erased any emotion he had left and focused on passing his classes.

He was barely existing. He was drifting, just like a ghost.

How ironic, for he was a ghost was haunted by the ghost of the memories he wanted to escape. A ghost being haunted by ghosts. How more _pathetic_ could he get?

Still, he wished he could be invisible like one, too. Kiyomiya won't stop pestering him, asking him for mundane ridiculous things that he's _sure_ were forgotten on purpose.

He keeps finding him wherever he went, why won't he leave him alone? Why won't he let him _breathe_?

So he snapped. But Kiyomiya snapped, too. That was the first time he'd gotten into a fistfight; he tried to avoid them and the trauma, but Kiyomiya was so _stubborn_ -

But he was also broken, just like him.

Kiyomiya said his story, and for once, Ritsu felt his heart give a little push. A twinge of sympathy.

When he spilled his own story, Kiyomiya listened. He didn't interrupt. He didn't laugh. He just listened.

And Ritsu was so, so tired. So when the tears came, he barely registered Kiyomiya's words as he put a hand over his eyes and closed them. And for a short, relieving moment, he forgot Senpai and just cried his heart out.

Since then, Kiyomiya became Nao. Stranger became friend, and friend became _best_ friend.

Like a key to a lock, Nao unleashed the emotions he'd tried so desperately to conceal.

And so, Ritsu found himself feeling again. He felt annoyed when Nao didn't prepare the coffee the night before. He felt sad when Nao awoke from a nightmare, reliving his losses. He felt happiness when Nao excitedly told him that he'd been accepted for the job he'd been wanting for years.

He _felt_ , and he owed it all to Nao.

* * *

When Ritsu applied for Marukawa Shouten, the last thing on his very long list of what-ifs was that he'd run into his ex-boyfriend, the one and only Saga-senpai.

Except, now he went by Takano, and he had somehow become more cynical than _he_ was in his college days.

And of course, after Ritsu had finally gotten over that horrible break-up, he goes and tells him that he's still in love with him.

Because what the hell was Ritsu's life?

Ritsu refused to give in to his boss's moves. He did his work and tried to avoid unnecessary confrontations with him, but it wasn't enough.

Takano keeps pushing, and Ritsu is anything but a pushover.

He doesn't want to relive that terrible break-up. The pain had destroyed him. He deserved better than getting his heartbroken again.

He won't go back to being a ghost. He doesn't want to be pathetic again.

But from time to time, he finds his heart beating wildly in his chest. He finds himself staring after Takano. He finds himself yearning to be "lovey-dovey" with Takano.

No. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want Takano, no matter how many times he wakes up in his bed.

He _doesn't_. Really.

Who was he kidding? He does. He was not in love with Takano, that he was sure of, but he certainly felt _something_ toward him.

But every time that something came, he was quick to remind himself of why he was so jaded. He had to protect himself.

He wanted to keep feeling, and Takano wasn't going to ruin that. Not again.

But it keeps happening. He keeps blushing at mundane things Takano says to him. He keeps ending up in his apartment to eat dinner. He keeps waking up in his arms, warm and safe.

And one day, the truth finally hit him. _He_ was the one holding himself back. He had long since gotten over the break-up, but he keeps reminding himself of it. He had long accepted that his mother was gone, but he keeps going back to the day of the funeral.

Takano was pushy, but he also praised him constantly and kept saying how much he loved Ritsu, even if Ritsu didn't deserve this blind dedication.

Now, he finally realized. Maybe he _was_ worthy of being loved. Maybe he deserved to indulge himself without trying to keep himself in check.

Maybe… maybe he could love Takano back.

So he took baby steps.

He started small, and as he healed his battered heart and bleeding soul, he went bigger.

Brushing their hands together turned to full-blown hand-holding. Sitting as far away as possible turned to sitting so close he was practically in the other man's lap. Angry curses and insults lost their bite. Turning down meal offers turned to him attempting (and failing) to cook _their_ meals.

Trying to hate Takano turned to falling hopelessly in love with him.

And it's only through his own realization that he was able to get this far.

His mother taught him what feelings were and took them with her. Saga put a Band-Aid on his wound then pulled it off just as quickly. Nao took the time to stitch his wounds and bring back his mother's lessons. Takano went over any remaining scars and put on a salve.

But only he himself was able to tell himself that he deserved to be loved. He deserved more than to live the rest of his life telling himself that he's pathetic.

He deserved better, and he gave himself better.

* * *

Ritsu had grown accustomed to waking up to biting cold; what he wasn't used to was awakening to stifling heat.

He yawned loudly, then blinked his eyes open, trying to find the source of the heat. He didn't need to, because the second thing he registered was the tight arms holding him close to a firm chest.

Ritsu blushed, finally recalling the events of last night. He'd let himself go again. Strangely enough, he found that he didn't feel any regret.

He'd fallen asleep on Masamune's chest, with his head over his heart. The sound of his lover's heartbeat in his ears comforted him more than he'd like to admit.

He closed his eyes and nuzzled closer. Slowly, he fell asleep to the steady beat.

Masamune, who had woken up from his fidgeting lover, smiled as Ritsu nuzzled closer. How he'd dreamed of this day.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep, which wasn't hard with Ritsu's warmth pressed against him.

Oh, they'd wake up eventually and realize that they'd missed their alarm, but for now, the two lovers slumbered peacefully, finding only warmth in their dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never actually enjoyed reading character studies, but writing about these boys is just so fun, I couldn't help myself!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did.


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